Fish Jokes

What do you call someone who is really good at fishing?

A master-baiter

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What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant

What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd?

He called the piano tuna!

How do you confuse a fish?

You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!

How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb?

A fish!

How many ADD's does it take to change a light bulb?

Let's go fishing

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.

Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools!

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Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?

To buy another pair of AirPods.

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

Eden Jokes More Eden Jokes

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

A. They were really put out.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the IT guy want to be an astronaut?

So he can find router space.

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why was the fish swimming alone?

Because he left the school.

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?

An octopuss!

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why couldn't Germany win a world war?

Because they'd Russia lot

Why did Russia lose the race?

Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did the auditor cross the road?

Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

How many times can look at the sun with a telescope?

You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!