M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.
Foam fest
They are preparing for whats coming afterwards
Because people were dying to get in!
I guess people have made the "switch" to another fad.
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.
They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.
Excuse me " "Is your person white " "I don't see skin color I just see people"
Because she is smoking hot
Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!
Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Someone who is fed up with people.
Because they never stand up for themselves.
Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!
Do you believe in people
So she can be pardoned.
A peeping tome.
Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99
Because they were bard.
Making people guess the meaning of acronyms.
A pocket watch.
Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy
Women have been around for 100,000 years
It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad
Liberal Arts Degrees.
None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.
Sir, this is a morgue.
But they don't stop long enough for you to reply!
Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life.
Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!
I'm sorry but I just don't believe in people.
I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the French feminine definite article"
Febrewery
Like we're going outside...
Two at most.
The punchline is too long.
Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair.
Vegetarians!
They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.
Seven. It *has* to be seven.
They're investing in wheel estate.
Romans.
Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter and they don't mind if you bring friends.
STARbucks.
A place where people parked their camels!
Downy.
An icebreaker
Build a house next to it.
Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.
Just the people who were in charge of that decision.
Whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people
People can Voat.
Adidos!
Parents.
People usually thank you for giving them reddit gold.
Drummers.
Why are all those people running B: They are running a race to get a cup. A: Who will get the cup B: The person who wins. A: Then why are all the others running
Thai Fighters
Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....
Homophonic I'm sorry...
Tattoo master
Aurora boring Alice.
It's not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
Student: A teacher!
To get to the other side.
Because people are dying to get in.
Do they really think someone will take it Do you think I should wash it first
People tell you.
Eh you!!
Because violins is not the answer...
Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it Joe: Three a policeman the owner of the watch and me!!
And what is the person inside to say "who is it "
This.
Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day.
Because they were tailor made for it.
People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.
Mr. Peanut
Does any of this really matter...
That people exaggerate.
I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.
Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane.
Nothing.
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.
Aquaman: People think I'm not a real superhero. I'm tired of being walked all over. *Jesus enters Aquaman: Dammit!
They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas
Do they not know what a nap is
Because he bawled.
Free shotgun
She makes people stoned.
One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."
Those who understand binary and those who don't
Yep, people are just dying to get in there
It reads "Small medium at large."
One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard.
The url.
Because all he says is "Chug Chug Chug"
The fun guy
It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
You never get tired of seeing them again & again...
Dubai-bye!
People in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones But people in Abu Dhabi Do!!
He moved down-under!!
I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.
The average elevation.
A baked potato
They have the best schools for it.
Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4.
Because they've forgotten the words!
He was afraid that he would swallow his words.
