People Jokes

What is the difference between a parrot saying "E equals M C squared" and most people saying it?

Nothing.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

Why do people go to the gym again?

Do they not know what a nap is

How is medusa like weed?

She makes people stoned.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

There are 10 types of people in this world...

Those who understand binary and those who don't

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

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Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

How do you make God laugh?

Tell him your plans.

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a Senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

White People Jokes More White People Jokes

Whats a word that white people can call white people but black people cannot call black people?

Dad.

How many white people does it take to change a light bulb?

A brunch.

Nra Jokes More Nra Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

More guns.

How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

More guns!

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

Where did the newlywed horses stay?

In the bridle suite!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

What are you doing crawling into school ten minutes late?

Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late!

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

How do you know which bear to talk to in a bar?

You have to read ursine.

Engineering Jokes More Engineering Jokes

Why do people studying engineering get to already call themselves engineers?

It is not like that anywhere else. It is not like people studying science claim that they are already scientists. Or people studying the arts say they are unemployed.

What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering?

A Boa Constructor

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Dad, can you put my shoes on?

I don't think they'll fit me.

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu.