Trees. They're quite shady.
Women!
I want that job. I could really screw with some people.
Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we all lived twice
The orbituaries.
To find more people for the infantry! I'm sorry.
Have they never had pizza
It's stalemate
Adam and Eve
Because they're too busy coffin.
Because people kept toasting him!
Because they have appeal!
Because he was following people before instagram
People from Dubai don't like the flinstones but people from Abu Dhabi Do
The ones who are always putting the bite on them!
Me: "I like telling people to be quiet."
Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise Oh, right, *of course*!"
A solar panel.
Its always 90 Degrees
The hippocampus.
I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
Hot dog!'
Roll playing im sry
Because they make cents!
When they lose their haunting licenses.
So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"
Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there Me: Two people. 9: Are they married Me: Not for long.
Because they lived once
Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!
Zero, its already lit
It wasn't her job to educate people.
As a Canadian, this offends me.
Lets go ride a bike!
Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.
Nothing, they might hear you
People who give 110%
WHAT IF FRANK LIED! WHAT IF I WANT TO BE MARLENE!
It was asbestos they could do at the time!
Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.
They can't afford an apartment because they only make 50 grand per year.
Denial. Myself included.
They know people will blow them.
He was Haydn!
Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..
To get to the other side!
He needed places to hide the bodies.
Guy who invented ketchup packets
Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot
People without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids
Mourning, everybody!
Idk, accordion to research I guess.
Depends on how many survivors there are. too soon.
M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.
They are preparing for whats coming afterwards
Because people were dying to get in!
I guess people have made the "switch" to another fad.
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.
They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.
Because she is smoking hot
Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!
Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Someone who is fed up with people.
Because they never stand up for themselves.
Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!
Do you believe in people
So she can be pardoned.
A peeping tome.
Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99
Because they were bard.
Making people guess the meaning of acronyms.
A pocket watch.
Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy?
Women have been around for 100,000 years
It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad
Liberal Arts Degrees.
None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.
Sir, this is a morgue.
But they don't stop long enough for you to reply!
Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life.
Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!
I'm sorry but I just don't believe in people.
I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the French feminine definite article"
Febrewery
Like we're going outside...
Two at most.
The punchline is too long.
Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair.
Vegetarians!
They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.
They're investing in wheel estate.
Romans.
Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter and they don't mind if you bring friends.
STARbucks.
A place where people parked their camels!
An icebreaker
Build a house next to it.
Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.
Just the people who were in charge of that decision.
People can Voat.
A baked potato
Shake 'n Bake.
A Yamahahahaha.
Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.
Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh.
More guns.
Hydrogen mide.
Amaized.
Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.
When they came to Ellis Island, not one of them could speak a lick of English, but they all had "To NY" on their hats.
Because I already reddit
Derpentine.
People in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones But people in Abu Dhabi Do!!
Dubai don't broadcast the Flintstones but AbuDhabidooooooooo
Double jointed
Because Pol Pot's followers are called Potheads.
