Star Jokes

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation...

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

Why did the blonde move to California?

To be a star on Broadway Creds to That 70's Show S04 E6

Which star do the dinosaurs like best?

The one that keeps getting bigger

What do astronomers do when they have nowhere else to turn?

They default in our stars

What do a Cloudy Night and Dancing With The Stars have in common?

More than likely you won't see any stars.

What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in?

The Woof of Wall Street.

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What does one star say to another star when they meet?

Glad to meteor!

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies?

Chicks dig stars.

What would the most depressing game show be?

Biggest Loser: All-Stars.

What's the difference between a star and America?

The star has a bright future.

What do you call it when the stars align for a mustard thief?

A Gulden's opportunity.

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out?

He saw stars.

What kind of a star can be risky?

A shooting star!

What stars go to jail?

Shooting stars.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

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Float Jokes More Float Jokes

What happens when you drop a decimal point in water?

It floats.

Why did the integer drown?

Because it can't float.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Why was the man at the cookout so happy?

He met the grill of his dreams.

What's the best thing about alzheimers?

You're always meeting new people.

Drunk Driving Jokes More Drunk Driving Jokes

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers(iknow its old but its nice)

What kind of photos do turtles take?

Shellfies

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What is a Budget?

An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face?

A mousetache.

Shoot Star Jokes More Shoot Star Jokes

What kind of a star can be risky?

A shooting star!

What do you call Miley Cyrus with a gun?

A shooting star

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder?

So he could shoot his mouth off.

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

Pop Star Jokes More Pop Star Jokes

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

Why did the balloon go near the needle He wanted to be a pop star.

Which former pop star would be most likely to help deliver a baby?

Paula Ab-doula