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Star Jokes

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation...

I Love Pizza & You

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I Love Pizza & You

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

Why did the blonde move to California?

To be a star on Broadway Creds to That 70's Show S04 E6

Which star do the dinosaurs like best?

The one that keeps getting bigger

What do astronomers do when they have nowhere else to turn?

They default in our stars

What do a Cloudy Night and Dancing With The Stars have in common?

More than likely you won't see any stars.

What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in?

The Woof of Wall Street.

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

What does one star say to another star when they meet?

Glad to meteor!

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies?

Chicks dig stars.

What would the most depressing game show be?

Biggest Loser: All-Stars.

What's the number for poison control?

Dancing With the Stars is on and I need to make sure this will be enough.

What's the difference between a star and America?

The star has a bright future.

What do you call it when the stars align for a mustard thief?

A Gulden's opportunity.

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out?

He saw stars.

How much do you love me?

Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you "But it's so cloudy" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know

What kind of a star can be risky?

A shooting star!

What stars go to jail?

Shooting stars.

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

You might also enjoy:

Meteor Jokes More Meteor Jokes

Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks?

They're Meteor!

What's the difference between a meteor and a meteorite?

Ite. Sorry, a kid said this in elementary school and it was funny back then

Gta Jokes More Gta Jokes

What happened in France?

Did they release a GTA Go

Dancing Star Jokes More Dancing Star Jokes

What do a Cloudy Night and Dancing With The Stars have in common?

More than likely you won't see any stars.

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why do the Republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

What's the most casual crime you can commit?

Shooting the breeze.

Han Jokes More Han Jokes

What does Han Solo call a sick Chewbacca?

A Chewie

What do you call a Harrison Ford one man show?

A Han Solo performance.

Drunk Driving Jokes More Drunk Driving Jokes

How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY!

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did the tree go to jail?

Treason

Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished?

In a high pressure cell

Bright Future Jokes More Bright Future Jokes

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.

What's the difference between a star and America?

The star has a bright future.