Star Jokes

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation...

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

Why did the blonde move to California?

To be a star on Broadway Creds to That 70's Show S04 E6

Which star do the dinosaurs like best?

The one that keeps getting bigger

What do astronomers do when they have nowhere else to turn?

They default in our stars

What do a Cloudy Night and Dancing With The Stars have in common?

More than likely you won't see any stars.

What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in?

The Woof of Wall Street.

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What does one star say to another star when they meet?

Glad to meteor!

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies?

Chicks dig stars.

What would the most depressing game show be?

Biggest Loser: All-Stars.

What's the difference between a star and America?

The star has a bright future.

What do you call it when the stars align for a mustard thief?

A Gulden's opportunity.

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out?

He saw stars.

What kind of a star can be risky?

A shooting star!

What stars go to jail?

Shooting stars.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

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Star Wars Character Jokes More Star Wars Character Jokes

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

How do you know when the Star Wars characters are safe?

Because they got Chewbacca

Han Solo Jokes More Han Solo Jokes

What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror?

Han Double

What does Han Solo call a sick Chewbacca?

A Chewie

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Drunk Driving Jokes More Drunk Driving Jokes

How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

Star War Jokes More Star War Jokes

Who was the naughtiest character in Star Wars?

R2D2. All of his lines are bleeped out.

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

Reich Jokes More Reich Jokes

Sia Jokes More Sia Jokes

Why does Sia live in a low-rent apartment?

She loves cheap bills

What did one Pop star say to the other?

Sia, Later!

80 Jokes More 80 Jokes

What do you call an 80s band comrpising of only fruit?

Durian durian! im sorry

What does a 80 yr old woman taste like?

Depends.