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Star Jokes

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation...

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

Why did the blonde move to California?

To be a star on Broadway Creds to That 70's Show S04 E6

Which star do the dinosaurs like best?

The one that keeps getting bigger

What do astronomers do when they have nowhere else to turn?

They default in our stars

What do a Cloudy Night and Dancing With The Stars have in common?

More than likely you won't see any stars.

What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in?

The Woof of Wall Street.

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

What does one star say to another star when they meet?

Glad to meteor!

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies?

Chicks dig stars.

What would the most depressing game show be?

Biggest Loser: All-Stars.

What's the number for poison control?

Dancing With the Stars is on and I need to make sure this will be enough.

What's the difference between a star and America?

The star has a bright future.

What do you call it when the stars align for a mustard thief?

A Gulden's opportunity.

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out?

He saw stars.

How much do you love me?

Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you "But it's so cloudy" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know

What kind of a star can be risky?

A shooting star!

What stars go to jail?

Shooting stars.

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

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Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What's the biggest ant in the world?

Girl: My Aunt Boy: No it's an elephant. Girl: You obviously haven't met my Aunt

How did the tiny frozen dinner meet the little kid's belly?

Microwave

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

What rating do pirate movies always get?

PG-13

Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?

Because it was rated arrr!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's a nanny's favorite letter?

I don't know, but it's not E.

Whats the favored pasta dish among ISIL members?

Baked Yazidi............ I know where I'm going after this life

Star War Jokes More Star War Jokes

What do you call a bar in Star Wars?

A space bar.

Why were the Star Wars made IV, V, VI, I, II, III?

Because in charge of distribution, Yoda was.

Float Jokes More Float Jokes

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise?

Captains Log

Reich Jokes More Reich Jokes

What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and Charlie Chaplin?

One rocks the mic, while the other mocks the reich.

What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

Chewbacca Jokes More Chewbacca Jokes

What would Chewbacca do?

And the answer is always, "Make that gargly roaring sound." So that's what I do.

What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets?

Wookieeleaks

Han Jokes More Han Jokes

How long does it take Han Solo to screw in a light bulb?

Less than twelve parsecs.

Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?

Because he was flying solo and went look no hans...