Shovel Jokes

What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund?

A hot diggity dog.

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What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Dug

How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden?

By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage

What's more fun then swinging a baby on a clothes line?

Stopping it with a shovel.

What did one shovel say to the other during a recurring fight?

Can we just bury this?

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel!

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

How do you turn an old dishwasher into a snowblower?

You give her a shovel and tell her to get to work.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow thrower?

Give her a shovel.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow?

Give her a shovel.

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What do you call a guy with a shovel?

Doug

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow remover?

Give her a shovel...

What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

There's been a ground breaking discovery...

What does the Farmer say when he is searching his shovel?

Where is my shovel

How much for the Ice Cream Scoop?

Ma'am, that's a Shovel.

What's the difference between a normal ambulance and a skydiving ambulance?

Well, a normal ambulance is usually a van with a stretcher in the back. A skydiving ambulance A bucket and a shovel.

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.

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When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?

You don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really?

Said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"

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Why did blonde open a fishcan in a shop?

Because on top of it was written: Open here.

Why do Muslims love shopping at Ross?

Because they can dress foreless.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What's the difference between a dog?

One of his legs is the same.

What do you name a dog with no legs?

Cigarette" because you take him out for a drag.

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

What do confused owls say?

Too-whit-to-why

Why are informaticians always confusing the dates of Christmas and Halloween?

Because OCT 31 is the same as DEC 25.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call man with.. What do you call man with a rucksack on his back and salt and pepper on his head?

A seasoned traveller.

What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head?

Duck.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What do you call a man in a hole?

Phil.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see the floor show!

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How do you say "virgin" in Dutch?

Goodentight

How does a virgin pop her cherry?

By using a bottle opener

Booty Jokes More Booty Jokes

What's a necrophilic pirate's favorite activity?

Digging for booty.

What's a pirate's favorite video game?

Because there's mighty phat loot and booty ta be pillagin' and plunderin', matey.