Tomato Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

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What is like tomato but better?

DD-WRT

What's red, round and goes up and down, up and down?

A tomato in an elevator

What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did the tomato say to the peach?

Nice pits.

What did the tomato say to the mushroom?

You're a fun guy

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

What's tomato with you!

What's small red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

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What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

What did one tomato say to the other?

Catch up.

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What does a tomato and a potato have in common?

Both are red,except from the potato.

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

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Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

Cheese Jokes More Cheese Jokes

Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

It was legend dairy.

What kind of cheese is best to watch Lost with?

Smoked Muenster.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What's an extroverted accountant?

One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

How can you tell when a Software Developer is an extrovert?

He looks at shoes when he's talking to you.

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What's the difference between a formally-dressed man riding a unicycle and a casually-dressed man riding a bicycle?

Attire.

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for Halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What did the German physicist call his beer mug?

Ein stein.

What are the two main differences between a Chihuahua and a German shepherd?

1. Spelling 2. Pronunciation

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

How do you get honey from a graveyard?

From a zombee!

How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?

A bud hound!

What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?

Five after one.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.