Clown Jokes

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

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Why do clowns make bad entrepreneurs?

Because they're into some funny business

Where do clowns live?

In a Clown Hall.

Why did the clown started his soccer career?

For kicks and giggles.

What's the difference between a man biking to a job interview and a clown on a unicycle?

Attire.

What happens when clowns get divorced?

They end up in a custardy battle.

How do you know if a chef is a clown?

The food tastes funny.

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.

Where are clowns from?

Chuckleslovakia

How do you stop clowns from attacking you?

Go for the juggler

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?

At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

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What did the clown say after having a few drinks?

I'm feeling funny

Why was the clown kicked out of the maths lesson?

Because he kept throwing his pi in other peoples faces!

What do you call a clown that gives you flowers?

A Romantic Jester!

Why did the clown wear loud socks?

So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.

Why did the lion spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny.

What do you get when a clown dies in a desert?

Dry Humour.

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

What do you call the international program that helps clowns with their personal space problems?

Clowns Without Borders.

What's another name for an irrational fear of clowns?

Common sense.

Why did the clown refuse to juggle?

He didn't have the balls to do it.

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If you boil a clown...

Do you get a laughing stock?

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To get to the other side.

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Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

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What did the French fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

Why did the music industry talent scout take a course in game programming?

He thought it would help him with his hit detection.

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What's the difference between a green elephant and a purple one?

One of them is purple

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

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Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?

The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

What kind of donuts did Bob Marley prefer?

The ones with Jam in

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Why did the cowgirl name her pony ink?

Because it kept running out of the pen!! My favorite joke when young.

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

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What do you call an aardvark that's just lost a fight?

A vark!

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

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What lives in gum trees?

Stick insects!

What do you call a singing goat that lives by the sea?

Billy Ocean