Drive Jokes

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

Do you know how to drive this thing

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What kind of car do ghosts drive?

BOOgatti!

What is the difference between a women driving strawberries?

None, both are collect in a field.

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

What do you call a hard working man from whose chauffeur is from Seoul?

Korea driven.

When I see a "How am I driving?

Sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

When are you going to learn to drive?

I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi.

Why a giraffe got arrested while driving?

Coz he was high

What kind of trucks do pigs drive?

A pig up truck

What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff?

A Good Start.(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=obKLdou0LH0)

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How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives?

The guy gets fierious.

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.

What are you guys yelling about?

Them: YOU'RE DRIVING

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?

He was a good conductor.

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

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Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

Rink injustice!

Lifestyle Jokes More Lifestyle Jokes

What is a witch's favourite TV show?

Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do you call a bear in the middle of the road?

A bear-icade

What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?

A polo bear!

Hyper Drive Jokes More Hyper Drive Jokes

What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first?

A Wookie mistake!

What drives the hype train?

The hyper drive.

Batmobile Jokes More Batmobile Jokes

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

ROBIN, GET IN THE BATMOBILE!

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the batmobile?

Get in the batmobile, Robin

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What did the black man say to the white kid?

Put the gun down!

Why was the black man selling drugs?

He was a pharmacist.

Occur Jokes More Occur Jokes

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

When should funerals occur?

Mourning

Dude Jokes More Dude Jokes

What did one crow say to the other?

Caw dude

How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?

Dude,I already did my time.