Fly Jokes

Where do flying pigs land?

The airpork!

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?

A pterrorist

Why are 9/11 jokes never funny?

Because they always fly over everyone's head.

What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?

A tiger moth!

What did one frog say.to the other?

Time's sure fun when you're having flies!

What do flies do at church?

Flyspray

What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

Why were the flies playing football in saucer?

They where playing for the cup!

What do you call a bird that flies over a baseball stadium?

A fowl!

When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other?

Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side.

Why did the prophylactic fly across the room?

It was peed off.

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What do you call a flying skunk?

A smellicopter!

What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland?

It Netherlands.

What wobbles as it flies?

A jelly-copter.

Why do buzzards prefer to fly?

Because they really like their carry-on..... yeah total dad joke, i know.

Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly?

Because they were Wright.

What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...

What do you get if your budgie flies into the blender?

Shredded Tweet!

What is big hairy and can fly?

King Kongcorde!

Why don't you shoo those flies?

Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!

What do you think of this, you spin really fast and I'll fly a kite from the wind you make?

I'm not a big fan.

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Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber?

Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

What's got six legs and can fly long distances?

Three swallows!

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?

Benjamin Frankenstein

What keeps fish from flying of Niagara Falls?

They don't have a pilots license.

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup.

Why couldn't Billy the Jet go flying with his friends?

Because he was grounded.

What did one frog say to the other frog?

Time's fun when you're having flies.

Why did the monster lie on his back?

To trip up low-flying aircraft.

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Which fly makes films?

Stephen Speilbug!

What's a penguins favourite relative?

Aunt Arctica! PENGUIN.. ME makes flies over head motion PENGUIN I don't know what that means

Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter?

He didn't have the hare fare.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he neverlands

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it's too far to walk.

Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?

So time would fly.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between CrossFit and a cult?

A torn ACL

What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog?

I have no idea...

Winter Jokes More Winter Jokes

Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.

Where is potatoes?

This winter is very cold. Family is starve.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What is the difference between a black man and a bench?

A bench can support a family.

What do you NEVER call a black man?

A friend

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.

What does Andre 3000's menorah look like on the last day of Hanukkah?

ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What are my choices?

He asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress?

A gender bender Bender fender bender.

What clothes do Quakers wear?

Oat couture

Capture Jokes More Capture Jokes

What does Kodak film and a condom have in common?

They both capture that special moment

What does Kodak film and Condoms have in common?

A. Both are made to capture special moments.

Peter Jokes More Peter Jokes

Why is Wendy never pregnant?

Because Peter's sperm Neverlands.

Why did Jesus lose the basketball game?

Because Peter denied him three times.