Fly Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

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Why do birds fly to the tropics in winter?

Why, wouldn't the winter be over by the time they reach, if they walk all the way along? So they fly.

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, how did they get in there anyway?

What do you call a piece of fruit that can fly?

A pearrot

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck. I'm sorry.

Why did the fly fly?

Because the spider spied'er. (SFW)

Why is one side of the flying-V longer than the other?

Because there's more birds in it.

What's the difference between a reindeer and a caribou?

Caribou can't fly.

What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?

You want flies with that?

What's the difference between a terrorist camp and a school?

No idea man, im just flying the drone.

What's the best airline to fly around the Seven Kingdoms?

Southwesteros

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What do you call a seagull flying over the bay?

A bagel

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

What do you call something that makes fun of people and can fly?

A mocking bird!

What has 18 legs and catches flies?

A baseball team

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?

The hell out of there.

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

What happened when the composer got angry?

He flew off the Handel

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, then they'd be called bagels!

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Why a centipede cannot fly coach?

Not enough leg room!

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands.

What do you call Americans flying to space?

The plot for Wall-E

What do you call a flying Jedi?

A skywalker. (I'm really sorry)

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

What's the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Why do seagulls fly by the sea?

Because if they flew by the bay they'd be bagels.

How cute does one have to be to make sparks fly?

Electro cute

What do you call bagels that can fly?

Plane" Bagels!...

Why do seagulls fly over the sea, not the bay?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels

What's grey and can't fly?

A parking lot.

What did the man say to the fly?

Hey.. you're looking fly

How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts?

Quid each.

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

Why can't the plane fly?

Because it's grounded.

What's gray and can't fly?

A parking lot.

What do frogs say?

Times fun when you're having flies

Why do vultures hate flying?

Because they have to pay extra for Carrion!

What do we want? Low flying plane noises! when do we want em?

Nnneeeeeeeeyyyyyoooooowwwww

Why is a duck when it's round?

Because the farther it flies, the fewer.

What goes zzub-zzub?

A bee flying backwards

What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart?

Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland

What happens when ducks fly upside down??

They quack up

Why did the Millennium Falcon hot a tree?

Because Han was flying so low.

How cute does someone have to be for sparks to fly?

Electro

What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly?

They ostrich-sized him

What do eagles and moles have in common?

They both fly, except for the mole...

How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York?

About 6 hours.

What kind of bird flies around bays?

Bagles

How do you know if a flock of geese is from Canada?

They fly in an 'A' (eh)

Why does the Pope kiss the ground when he gets off his plane?

You would too if you had to fly Alitalia.

What did the fly say to the second man on the moon?

Buzz.....

What did the bat say to the other bat when he almost flew into a tree?

Whoa did you hear that?

What kind of pie can fly?

A Magpie.

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What's the difference between a School and an ISIS training ground?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone

What do you a pterodactyl that can't fly?

Inosaur.

Why can't seagulls fly over the bay?

Cuz then they'd be baygulls.

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

Where do rabbits learn to fly?

The Hare Force

What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?

A mosquito can "fly", but a fly can not "mosquito".

What is the difference between a terrorist hideout and a school?

How should I know? I just fly the drones.

What do you call a turlte that flies?

A shellocopter. damn homies

Why can't ducks tell jokes when they fly?

Cause they would quack up.

What did the bird say when it flew into the window?

Owl

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

Because then you'd have to call them bagels.

What time do dentists fly airplanes?

Tooth Hurty (2:30)

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel!

What did the shirt say to the pants zipper?

Your so fly man

What's yellow and flys through walls?

A magic banana...

Why does LeVar Burton not like to travel by airplane?

He usually flies twice as high.

Why don't sea-gulls fly over bays?

Because then they would be bay-gulls.

Why is a rat when it spins?

The higher it flies, the much.

How do rabbits fly?

In hareplanes.

Why do seagulls only fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they'd be called Baygulls.

Why do some birds fly south for the winter?

Its to far to walk.

What kind of monkey can fly?

A hot air baboon!

What is big hairy and can fly faster than sound?

King Koncord.

Where did the Martian put his teacup?

On his flying saucer.

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What's the difference between an Isis camp and an orphanage?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

What do an eagle and a broom have in common?

They both fly but the broom doesn't.

How do birds learn to fly?

They just wing it.

What's big grey and flies straight up?

An elecopter!

What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon!

How long does it take to fly to Boston?

The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.

What bird has wings but cannot fly?

Roast turkey!

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

What do you call a model flying an airplane full of animals?

Zoolander

What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

Tweetie Pie!

What's the difference between an ant and a bird?

A bird can fly.

Where can you buy a 3 headed flying purple camel with 74 noses?

Ebay.

What has handles and flies?

A witch in a garbage can.

Why do aliens always disembark via ramp?

Do they have problems with stairs Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible

What do you call a flying dinosaur who always gives you a chance?

A Fairodactyl

Why don't seagulls fly in the bay?

Because they don't want to be bagels.

What do you call pants that can fly?

Peter Pants I just made it up

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Peter Pan Jokes More Peter Pan Jokes

What did Peter Pan say during the plane crash?

It looks like we're going to Neverland.

What's Peter Pan's favorite restaurant?

Wendy's!

Bagel Jokes More Bagel Jokes

Why was everyone afraid of the everything bagel?

Because he looked pretty seedy!

Why don't seagulls fly over bays?

Because then they'd be called bagels!

Capture Jokes More Capture Jokes

What does a camera have in common with a condom?

They both capture that special moment.

What does Kodak film and Condoms have in common?

A. Both are made to capture special moments.

Winter Jokes More Winter Jokes

What do you say when it's snowing?

Winter is coming.

What happens to donkeys in the winter?

They change into brrrrrro's.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes?

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why does the little mermaid wear sea-shells?

She grew out of her b-shells

What do you call an aligator that likes to wear vests when no one else is around?

A private investigator.

Airplane Jokes More Airplane Jokes

What did the doctor say to the airplane that has canser?

It's terminal.

Why didn't the buzzard have any luggage on the airplane?

Because he ate his carrion.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the number 3 and David Cameron?

One's a prime number, the other's a prime minister.

What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle?

The candle is a thousand times brighter!