Insect Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming

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What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church?

They're insects.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

Dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Which insect didn't play well in goal?

The fumble bee!

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee!

What insect is good at math?

An account-ant.

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What insect does a neckbeard keep as a pet?

M'ladybug

What happened to the man who turned into an insect?

He just beetled off!

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

As told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe!

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

The Masked-quito!

What do insects learn at school?

Mothmatics!

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Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

What lives in gum trees?

Stick insects!

What do you call an insect with magical powers?

A spelling bee.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance?

A cricket ball!

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Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why was red sad?

Because he was feeling blue

What did one cheese say to the other?

I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

Toes go in first!

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

What tool does a black lumberjack use?

An ask. (Explanation: Because most black people say ax for ask, it is swapped around.) Came up with it by myself, how did I do

Gnat Jokes More Gnat Jokes

How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why are you picking up rocks?

M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.

What did the hippie say when I asked him to leave my house?

Nah, I'm-a stay.

Richard Simmons Jokes More Richard Simmons Jokes

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

What's the difference between Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons?

One porks women the other un-porks them.

Dead Ant Jokes More Dead Ant Jokes

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

Dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

What two words have thousands of letters in them?

Post office.

What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?

The Post Office