Insect Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming

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What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church?

They're insects.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

Dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Which insect didn't play well in goal?

The fumble bee!

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee!

What insect is good at math?

An account-ant.

What insect does a neckbeard keep as a pet?

M'ladybug

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What happened to the man who turned into an insect?

He just beetled off!

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

As told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe!

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

The Masked-quito!

What do insects learn at school?

Mothmatics!

Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

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What lives in gum trees?

Stick insects!

What do you call an insect with magical powers?

A spelling bee.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance?

A cricket ball!

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What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch?

A MANDATE

What do you get when you cross the Cosby Show with Law & Order: SVU?

Women Say the Darndest Things

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why did Eli Manning didn't react to the Broncos winning the Superbowl?

Because the fine bros would sue.

Why won't Bernie Sanders win the rational election?

Because he's two radical.

Ladybug Jokes More Ladybug Jokes

How many ladybugs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

Pink Panther Jokes More Pink Panther Jokes

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

Dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

Because the bus hit him.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!

Whats the difference between America and Yogurt?

If you leave Yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

Lack Toe Jokes More Lack Toe Jokes

What do you call a man with no feet and is allergic to milk?

Lack-toes intolerant

Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?

He was lack toes and toddler ant

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do hobbits secretly call Gandalf when he drinks too much?

The White Wizzer

What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink?

Serving dual porpoises!