Insect Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming

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What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church?

They're insects.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

Dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Which insect didn't play well in goal?

The fumble bee!

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee!

What insect is good at math?

An account-ant.

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What insect does a neckbeard keep as a pet?

M'ladybug

What happened to the man who turned into an insect?

He just beetled off!

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

As told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe!

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

The Masked-quito!

What do insects learn at school?

Mothmatics!

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Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

What lives in gum trees?

Stick insects!

What do you call an insect with magical powers?

A spelling bee.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance?

A cricket ball!

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How do you win a Scandinavian race?

By crossing the Finnish line!

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny?

His lucky people's foot!

What did the kid say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while trying to catch him?

Nana boo boo

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did Norman Bates call his little sister?

You know you see it coming...) A: Psycho-sis! (I won't let the doorknob hit me on the way out..)

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?

A smell that keeps coming back!

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why are you taking so long to order?

Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

What's wrong with a broken alphabetizer?

It's out of order.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?

I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it.

How do you know if you are drowning in milk?

If it's pasturize

Mate Season Jokes More Mate Season Jokes

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

Relationshipgulls

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why aren't you charging me for the paint?

They said, "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."

What happened to the fireman who let the house burn?

He got fired.

Pink Panther Jokes More Pink Panther Jokes

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*