Insect Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming

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What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church?

They're insects.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

Dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Which insect didn't play well in goal?

The fumble bee!

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee!

What insect is good at math?

An account-ant.

What happened to the man who turned into an insect?

He just beetled off!

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What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

As told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe!

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

The Masked-quito!

What do insects learn at school?

Mothmatics!

Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

What lives in gum trees?

Stick insects!

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What do you call an insect with magical powers?

A spelling bee.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance?

A cricket ball!

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What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house?

Paint a goal line on your driveway.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

Lack Toe Jokes More Lack Toe Jokes

What do you call a man with no feet and is allergic to milk?

Lack-toes intolerant

Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?

He was lack toes and toddler ant

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

Why don't we drink chicken milk?

It tastes fowl.

Dead Ant Jokes More Dead Ant Jokes

What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

Cal Jokes More Cal Jokes

What do you cal a campsite trampled by thousands of tiny insects?

A gnatural disaster.

How do people in Nor Cal get around?

Hella copters

Torture Jokes More Torture Jokes

What do you call the feeling of being a tortured insect?

Antagony

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

Fruit Fly Jokes More Fruit Fly Jokes

Why a fruit doesn't walk?

Because fruit flies