Toast Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

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What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

What do astronauts put on their toast?

Space Jam.

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

What do you get if you put morphine on your toast?

Crumfortably Numb!

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

How do al-Qaeda like their toast?

Bean-laden

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How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was actually Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam.

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling?

An Ethiopian rave.

What s the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

Gingerbread

How do you start a rave in Uganda?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

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Slice Jokes More Slice Jokes

How many men does it take to wallpaper a feminists house?

Only one, but you have to slice him REALLY thin!

What's that funny taste?

Definitely not poison. Have another slice!

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Bowl Jokes More Bowl Jokes

How do you get 100 babies into a bowl?

A blender. How do you get them out Tortilla chips

What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?

If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why do people call their weed the Koran?

Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

Coma Jokes More Coma Jokes

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

Costume Jokes More Costume Jokes

What's your costume?

Me: I'm dressed as "A total disappointment" Friend: But you always wear that Me: Yeah.

What are you supposed to be?

ME: I'm not wearing a costume

Pregnant Girlfriend Jokes More Pregnant Girlfriend Jokes

What's the difference between a light bulb and my pregnant girlfriend?

I can unscrew a lightbulb.

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between a large pizza and an art student?

A pizza can feed a family.