Toast Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

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What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

What do astronauts put on their toast?

Space Jam.

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

What do you get if you put morphine on your toast?

Crumfortably Numb!

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

How do al-Qaeda like their toast?

Bean-laden

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How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam.

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling?

An Ethiopian rave.

What s the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

Gingerbread

How do you start a rave in Uganda?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

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What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers?

There's none, both like clubbing.

What's the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.

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Why did the chicken double-cross the road?

To change sides.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

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What did the redneck say to the Frenchman?

You don't speak English fourchette!

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

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What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast?

Apple Jacks

Why is a dance like a bowl of cereal?

They are both more enjoyable with dates!

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What do you call a plane on a secret mission?

In disguise.

How do ants hide from aardvarks?

They disguise themselves as uncles!

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What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain?

A wet one.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

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What's the difference between a light bulb and my pregnant girlfriend?

I can unscrew a lightbulb.

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Burn Toast Jokes More Burn Toast Jokes

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast?

The holocaust.