Toast Jokes

What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do astronauts put on their toast?

Space Jam.

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

What do you get if you put morphine on your toast?

Crumfortably Numb!

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

How do al-Qaeda like their toast?

Bean-laden

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was actually Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

What's the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

Gingerbread

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

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Bowl Jokes More Bowl Jokes

What did the blonde say when she looked down at her bowl of Cheerios?

Look, donut seeds!

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

Corduroy!

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle?

In case of any night mares!

Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha

French Jokes More French Jokes

What do you call it when three French cats get into a boat only meant for two?

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!

How do you advertise a French rifle?

Never fired, dropped once.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?

He always gets stuck on across.

When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

Loaf Jokes More Loaf Jokes

What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!

Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Coma Jokes More Coma Jokes

What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

Plane Crash Jokes More Plane Crash Jokes

Why did the plane crash into the mountain?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the plane crash into the ocean?

The pilot was a loaf of bread