Bake Jokes

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

What is the driest soda you can buy?

Baking soda.

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

What does the KKK use to bake cookies?

White flour!

What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam?

A few degrees.

What do you ask a Jamaican who's baking a cake?

Hey, are you Jamaican a cake?

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans?

Because if they had one more, they would be 240.

Why do chefs put so much effort into baking cakes?

Because you only get out what you pudding.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked?

A witch.

What do you call a dance party in Colorado?

Shake 'n Bake.

What does Beyonce bake her cookies on?

Aluminatti foil

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?

He got baked.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?

He is risen.

How can you tell if a potato is baked?

It's are all red and glossy.

Why did the cardiologist bake a cake with partially hydrogenated oil?

Because he took the hypocritic oath

What is pickle bread before its baked?

Dill dough

How about baked chocolate cake?

Nah" "Yummy choccy bake " "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...

How hot was that oven?

That they baked you in Because you're hotter than a freshly baked Pizza!

Why are you baking octopus?

So I can get octopi.

Why did the cookie get fired from his job?

He came to work baked.

Why are goldfish crackers always smiling?

Because they're baked..

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

What form of radiation bakes you cookies?

A gramma ray

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

What did you do on the weekend?

ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake ME: Me

Why did the cookie smoke weed?

Because he wanted to get baked.

Why did the baker bake more bread?

He kneaded the dough.

What do you call a loaf baked in a zoo?

Bread in captivity.

What's a Brit's favorite baked good?

Cake.

What do you call bread baked in the south?

Inbred

What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry?

A high turnover.

What is Chalah before it's baked?

Judo

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What does Monsieur Homer say after spilling water on himself?

D'EAU!

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

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What do you call Mexican stoners?

Baked beans

What do you call a Mexican who is high?

A Baked Bean!

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What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car?

The bear maximum

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

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What does a white man never want to call a black man that starts with "N" and ends with "R"?

Neighbor" thanks bugz

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

Brownie Jokes More Brownie Jokes

What places have the least racial tensions?

Bakeries, there are brownies and crackers there and yet they never fight.

Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven?

They were too GUI.

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

What did one orange say to the other orange?

Do you speak Mandarin

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

Meth Jokes More Meth Jokes

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

Baked Potato Jokes More Baked Potato Jokes

What do you call a stoner with Down's Syndrome?

A Baked Potato.

What do you get when you combine someone from Colorado and someone from Idaho?

A Baked Potato