School Jokes

What are you going to be when you get out of school?

An old man!

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What do you call a Tardy count for a school of water bears?

A tardigrade!

Why did the piglets do badly in school?

They were all slow loiners.

Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

X-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

What's a skunk's favourite game in school?

Show and smell!

What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?

The multiplication table.

How many girls a boy need to shoot a school?

None.

What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school?

Not only have you let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down!

How do you recognize a blonde in school?

They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.

What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations?

They both tend to shoot up schools.

Why is a Boston painting school so special?

Because everyone there is ahtistic.

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Why are you late Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late Joseph: The sign said "School Ahead Go Slow!"

What are you doing crawling into school ten minutes late?

Pupil: Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late!

Why was the ghost uneducated?

He was too ghoul for school

Why is school in Mexico a lot harder?

Because they have a lot of ese's

What do insects learn at school?

Mothmatics!

What's with people thinking white people shoot up schools?

I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools.

What is a feminists least favourite subject at school?

Triggernometry.

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?

They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

How's school, Hannah?

Really tough, dad." They're calling you Hannah Banana, aren't they "No-" WHY THE HELL NOT

How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

What did you do at school today?

Mark: We played a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam Mark: That's right.

What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school?

None.

How did the snow man get to school?

He took his icicle

Why are you home from school so early?

Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh really What was the question Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal "

How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

Where did the piglets study their ABC's?

At a school for higher loining.

How do the fish get to school?

By octobus!

What grades did Fidel Castro get at school?

Full Marx

Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends

Why was the headmaster worried?

Because there were too many rulers in school!

What do you mean the school must be haunted?

Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

When does a black person goes to school?

When it's being built!

How's my kid doing in school?

T: How's my kid doing in school I hate parrot teacher conferences

What's a hotdog's best subject in school?

History. Because history has always been written by wieners.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

How can we keep the school clean Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?

Student: "By staying home"

Why couldn't Muhammad pick his wife up from childcare?

Because Muslim girls can't go to school

What do stoners ride to school?

The cannibus

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Why was the broom late for school?

It over-swept

What is school like?

It's terrible, we have to do all the work, but the teachers get paid.

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

What do you call a cowboy who helps out in a school?

The deputy head!

What is 007's favorite subject at school?

Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!

Why doesn't ISIS Like School?

Because they always bombed their tests.

What's the difference between white students and black students?

Black students bring the gun to school. White kids use it at school.

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

Sounds like he had already done the... time

Why did reddit's admins go back to school?

Because they can't spell "read it".

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools!

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Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream?

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How much does 1 drop of gas cost me?

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