Buy Jokes

Where is the best place to buy computer software?

Washington C.D

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?

He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".

When should you buy a bird?

When it's going Cheep.

Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long?

Because he only had Forints!

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

How do pianists remember which groceries to buy?

They use a Chopin Liszt!

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What does a traffic cop do when he wins some money?

Buys an intersection for a private business work.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out.

How does a white lady fix a flat tire?

She buys a new car.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation?

Because he is an x-boxer

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything!

What's the most emotional computer you can buy?

A Dell.

What is the most unethical thing you can legally buy?

Nestle products

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

Why did the bodybuilder buy a dictionary?

Because he wanted to get more definition.

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Put it on my bill

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Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What did the black man get for his 18th birthday?

Your car.

Why did the black man walk backwards?

I have no idea, Your Honor, but he was coming right at me and I felt my life was at risk.

Discount Jokes More Discount Jokes

Where is the best place to find discounted ray bans?

Gt marked as spam

What's ISIS' favorite kind of discount?

Blowouts

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

Black Woman Jokes More Black Woman Jokes

How Long Does It Take A Black Woman To Take A Dump?

9 months.

How does a black woman know that she's pregnant?

The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons.

Baptist Jokes More Baptist Jokes

What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store

Why should you always take at least two Baptists with you when you go fishing?

Because if you take only one he will drink all your beer.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

What do you call an amphibian in hiding?

Incognitoad.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in strawberry patches.

Methodist Jokes More Methodist Jokes

What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died?

Slowing down his car....... shoutout to for this one.

How do you call a car designed for midgets?

Half a Romeo.