I'd like to buy an owl
Because he didn't want toupee.
There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.
A Dell
She writes a Chopin Liszt.
Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...
So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it.
DANKE!
When they're in Denali.
Because there are eyes everywhere!
Reebark
So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now
Just for the halibut.
Everyone who bought his tickets wanted their nickelback
A washing machine
Bar tender
A short one!
Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."
Because other stores are too mainSteam.
When it goes cheep!
Buck teeth!
Wild Twerky!
Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays
So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.
So he could "get a long little doggy".
Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.
He went to Jared.
We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.
Compra maize.
She thought the apple was poisoned.
You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!
I bought the Groupon but can't make it
I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.
Because they buy no meals. (Binomials)
She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!
She couldn't raise enough dough.
Pennsylvania.
Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...
The GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY
Because he had a stinking cold!
It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.
Because he believed that all proper tea was theft.
The outlet
Cos Chernobyl fall out
Because the steaks are too high.
2 Get Chocolate Milk!!
Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*
In a math book I can buy 57 papayas at $1.99 each and no one will care.
God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.
He wanted Mark Antony!
So he could take it out for a spin!
I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!
So he could organize his crime
Sears.
A. At a secondhand store.
I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.
When they're going cheap!
They take the long-grain home.
Who is not buying this
A good vacuum cleaner!
Because they like to get in touch with their inner self.
Their odds of winning are the same
Penne.
A stool sample.
And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.
They're investing in wheel estate.
The Oli-Mart
Turban Outfitters
The jury store
Because if they called it Nut Juice nobody would buy it.
A good in-vest-ment
From the supermeerkat
From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally.
Kid: At the Joke shop.
Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....
Washington C.D
He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".
When it's going Cheep.
This is non-cents!
They use a Chopin Liszt!
A gras shopper.
Chernobyl fall out.
She buys a new car.
Because he is an x-boxer
He prawned everything!
A Dell.
Nestle products
I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.
Because he wanted to get more definition.
Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.
Put it on my bill
Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
Hnng. Aaaaaaaah. Like that. I'll show myself the door.
Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.
A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store
Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.
A Kia Soul.
Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."
He was de-stable-ized.
Pants
He had carpool tunnel
Orangu-Tang.
At the monkey bars.
I was told they were sick of being subordinates.
At yeast he's a fungi.
Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.
Hotline Bling.
