Carrot Jokes

What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?

Can you smell carrot?

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.:

What did the rabbit say to the carrot?

It's been nice gnawing you.

What is worse than a carrot that smells like a snow women?

One that smells like a snow man.

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts

Why the rabbits love Selena Gomez?

Im farting carrots, im farting carrots...

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

What is invisible and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts

How do you make a ginger snap?

Call them "carrot top"

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What did the carrot say to the DJ?

Lettuce Turnip The Beet

Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?

Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?

Anything you want as he can't hear you!

How do you lead a horse to water?

With carrots

What happened when the carrot died?

There was a huge turnip at the funeral.

What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables.

What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?

Anything you want to - it can't here you!

What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

What did one snowman say to the other snow man?

Do you smell carrot?

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

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24 Carrot Jokes More 24 Carrot Jokes

How do you make soup golden?

You add 24 carrots.

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

What did the little girl say when opened up a box of Cheerios?

Awww, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the pirate say when he had a steering wheel down his pantaloons?

Arr! It's driving me nuts!

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A puddle

Why did the snowman smile?

Because the snowblower is coming.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

He dislikes poles polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words It hard

What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile?

Convincing the sound to get into your van.

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What did the alien say to the gas pump?

Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you!

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

Gnaw Jokes More Gnaw Jokes

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice gnawing you.