Carrot Jokes

What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?

Can you smell carrot?

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.:

What did the rabbit say to the carrot?

It's been nice gnawing you.

What is worse than a carrot that smells like a snow women?

One that smells like a snow man.

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts

Why the rabbits love Selena Gomez?

Im farting carrots, im farting carrots...

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

What is invisible and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts

How do you make a ginger snap?

Call them "carrot top"

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What did the carrot say to the DJ?

Lettuce Turnip The Beet

Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?

Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?

Anything you want as he can't hear you!

How do you lead a horse to water?

With carrots

What happened when the carrot died?

There was a huge turnip at the funeral.

What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables.

What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?

Anything you want to - it can't here you!

What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

What did one snowman say to the other snow man?

Do you smell carrot?

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

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He nuts and bolts

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck

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What's the key to a good joke?

Timing.

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Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.

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What pick-up line works 100% of the time?

Does this smell like chloroform to you

What happens when a clown farts?

It smells funny. --As told to me by an Engineering lead... Much facepalm ensued.

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What is the opposite of peace?

Is the question.

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

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Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?

He was a ghoulsnif fer.

What do you call a nose without a body?

Nobody knows.

Donkey Jokes More Donkey Jokes

What happens to donkeys in the winter?

They change into brrrrrro's.

What does a donkey say?

It says "Hey Shrek, whats up?" (I was 9 when i made this okay)

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What is Bruce Lee's favourite drink?

Wataaaah!

What is the name of Bruce Lee's crippled brother?

Broccoli

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Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook