Type Jokes

What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself?

I can't even

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What type of car does a dinosaur drive?

A priustoric!

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest?

A dookie

What type of phone does a hawk use?

A hawkie talkie.

What type of train can a ginger not ride?

A soul train

What type of fish needs to be tuned?

Tune a fish

What are the three types of men?

The handsome the caring and the majority.

What type of plant can you use to make phone calls?

A telefern

What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination?

A log n truck.

How did the date go?

Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.

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What type of lunch do you get at an air show?

A plain one.

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!

What type of sense of humor does rain have?

A very wet sense of humor

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?

Falafel Raptors. (sorry)

What type of missiles were used in the Movie Top Gun?

Tom" Cruise Missiles.

What type of dog did the tweaker have?

A pure bred meth lab.

What type of cheese is strong?

Shredded cheese.

What type of gum does a Buddhist prefer?

Enlightenmint!

What type of movies can't Batman see?

Parental Guidance.

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What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.

What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin?

Santa Ana

What type of memory card is always laughing?

The XD card.

How do whales type e-mails?

With their fish fingers.

What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat?

Katabatic

What type of fruit is impossible to marry?

Cantaloupe

What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.

What type of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

What type of milk is Swiss cheese made of?

Whole milk.

What type of cheese is made backwards?

Edam

What type of dog is always amazed?

A Chi-WOW!-ua

What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard?

Sorry you're not my type.

What is the only type of alcohol muslims are allowed to drink?

TAKBEER!

What is the one type of person that will never get angry?

A nomad.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know.

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

What type of bees don't die?

Zom-bees

What type of currency do people use in outer space?

STARbucks.

What type of music do astronauts love?

Neptunes!

What type of phones do fish use?

Shellular*, of course...

What type of trees do chickens grow on?

Poul-trees

What type of wind is named after a young deer?

Foehn

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?

Rock and Roll

What types of trees never get Christmas presents?

Knotty Pines.

What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have?

A very dry sense of humor

What type of monster really loves dance music?

The boogieman.

What type of tree hates company?

Sycamore trees!

What type of vegetable is only kinda awesome?

A radish

Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?

Because they use a strongly typed language.

What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

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Armour Jokes More Armour Jokes

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?

He had a bee in his suit of armour!

Where do Knights get their armour?

The hardware store. One I came up with when I was about 10.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do you call a good looking tractor?

Attractor

How does a Range Rover Evoque look after landing on it's roof?

Exactly the same.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What do you call an elephant on drugs?

Tranquilized.

What do you call someone who smokes two doobies at once?

Double jointed. What do you call someone who can smoke three at once? Dead. Don't do drugs.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?

The NBA.

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

Why couldn't the duck stop smoking?

Because he was a quack addict

What do you call a duck that does drugs?

A quack head!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What did King Midas say to get peoples attention?

Eh you!!

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website?

REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!

What are the symptoms of amnesia?

I can't remember

Sync Jokes More Sync Jokes

What did one device say to the other?

Are you syncing what I"m syncing

Who is 'N Sync's favourite film maker?

Michael Bay Bay Bay