Water Jokes

Who's there! Castro! Castro who?

Castro bread upon the waters!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water?

Bob

Why was the fish swimming backwards?

It didn't want to get water in its eyes.

What is the formula for water?

George: HIJKLMNO Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you George: Sure you said H to O!

Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk?

Because they don't want the siren to die.

What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

Why did Mubarak and Gaddafi get dehydrated?

They didn't want water from the Arab Spring.

Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?

I put soap and water in there every day...

Why won't the ocean let us drink its water?

Because it's too salty.

What do you get when water washes away dirt?

A road

Where is the water main?

So I turned on the tap & said, "Right here, main."

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?

Just water

What do you call a bottle of seltzer that lost all its bubbles?

Water...

How much for this aggressive bottle of water?

FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water...

What is the difference between ice and dry ice?

Dry ice lacks of water.

Where does monty python buy his water?

From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally.

What did Water say to Fire when they met for the first time?

Shhhhhhh.

Why did the dog go into the water?

Because he didn't want to be a hot dog.

Why is the letter T like an island?

Because its in the middle of water!!!

What did the bell say when it fell in the water?

I'm wringing wet.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call an unambiguous body of water?

The Specific Ocean

Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic?

Because he enjoys living in denial.

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse

What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

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Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How do you throw a party in space?

You planet

Why did Wile E. Coyote have a "Detour" sign pointing to the edge of a cliff?

To throw the Roadrunner off.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What is the difference between a dancer and a duck?

One goes quick on her beautiful legs the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.

What kind of water do ducks drink?

Bottled Waddle.

Shark Jokes More Shark Jokes

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

Whats yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard

Black Person Jokes More Black Person Jokes

What's long and hard On a black person?

First grade

What do you call a black person in space?

An astronaut.

Tap Water Jokes More Tap Water Jokes

How do you turn tap water into holy water?

You boil the HELL out of it! Har har har.

What's a dancer's favorite type of water?

Tap water

Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

What's the difference between England and an egg cup?

An egg can stay in the cup longer

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.

How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One Brazillion.

Waterbe Jokes More Waterbe Jokes

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?

Because he sleeps on a waterbed!

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?

Spring water