Hide Jokes

What's your favorite game if you wear a turban?

Hide-and-Sikh

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why can't you play hide and go seek with a Pokemon?

Because he'll peek-at-chu!

How do you protect a valuable instrument?

Hide it in an accordion case.

Why do you hide behind a mask?

Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on.

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!

What do Anne Frank and Bin Laden have in common?

They're both hide and seek champions!

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

What do turtles do for fun?

Play hide and shell.

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree!

Why couldn't the leopard play Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Where is the worst place to play hide and seek in a hospital?

In the I.C.U.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you starve a Socialist?

You hide their food stamps under their work boots. Edit Thank you /u/DoctorBrohoof for my first gold!

Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital?

In the ICU.

Why do you carry a knife?

Me: A sword is harder to hide.

Why aren't the Eagles worried about big cats sneaking up on them?

They know there ain't no way to hide those lion eyes.

How are we out already?

ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess

Why are there so many piggy banks?

Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.

Where do you hide a hippie's weed?

Under the soap.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?

Hide their trainers.

Why do women aged 40+ not play hide and seek?

Cause nobody would be looking for them.

Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?

They can't hide behind billboards.

Why do women over 40 don't play hide and seek?

Because nobody is looking for them.

What was in those drums of chemicals Captain Malcolm Reynolds hid behind in Firefly?

For-Mal-To-Hide.

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in strawberry patches.

What do you call a blond skeleton in the closet?

The winner of hide and seek.

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?

They're really good at it.

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Cherry Tree Jokes More Cherry Tree Jokes

What did Mario say to Yoshi when he started climbing the Cherry tree?

X-post r/landscaping) Yoshino!!!

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?

He paints his hooves red.

Big Rock Jokes More Big Rock Jokes

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What do you do when you drop your favorite ska record?

PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP!

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Loudest Noise Jokes More Loudest Noise Jokes

Why did the elephant paint his balls red?

What makes the loudest noise in the jungle?

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

Jungle Jokes More Jungle Jokes

What do you call the king of the jungle in the land down under?

Australian. Yes I know lions aren't jungle animals, but as per common nomenclature etc etc yadda yadda raspberry

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

What does a radical, democrat and republican have in common?

They both want to make money off of other people's work!

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they're all screwed.

Slipper Jokes More Slipper Jokes

What do you call two banana peels on the floor?

Slippers

What's a foot long and slippery?

A Slipper.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What the best way to cut down a tree?

A Suhhh Dude

What's red, white and sits in a hole in a tree?

A sanitary owl