Deer Jokes

What do they call deers in space?

I don't know, they would probably die anyways.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no ideer.

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck...

What do you call a deer that has really good eyesight?

Good idea. Hint: Good eye-deeeeah

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck

What do you get when you cross a pickle with a deer?

A dill doe.

What do you call a deer with one good eye?

A good idear...

What do you call it when a bunch of deer have an intervention for one of their friends?

Change for a buck.

What do you call a deer missing an eye?

No-eye deer.

What do you call a deer with flashlights for eyes?

A bright eye deer.

What does a hillbilly farmer call a deer with no eyes?

Noeyedeer (Say it out loud)

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What did the rabbit say to the deer?

What up doe

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar twenty five, deer nuts are under a buck

What do deer and women have in common?

The hornier, the better!

What did the Chinese billionaire say after buying the deer with no eyes?

I have no Idea.

What did the deer say when the sportsman asked if he wanted to go hunting?

I'm game.

What do you call a deer without eyes?

No-eye deer! Note: we are from Hicksville, USA. This May not make sense without the Midwestern accent.

What's the difference...?

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and deer nuts are just under a buck.

What do you call a deer that can't see?

No eye deer. Say it fast and with a southern accent for full effect.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes?

I got no-eye deer!

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

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What did the deer say to its lover?

You are very "deer" to me.

What do you call a deer without an eye?

No idear.

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?

Elkaseltzer.

How much do deer nuts cost?

Under a buck

What do you get when you mix a pickle and a deer?

A dilldoe

What do you call it when a deer knows karate?

Tae-fawn-doe

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What do you call a deer with no eyes that isn't moving?

Still no idea.

What do you call it when a deer and a rabbit runaway together?

Jackaloping

Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night?

They couldn't fit a deer into the car.

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What did one cookie say to the other cookie?

You've got a chip on your shoulder. What did the deer say to the bear Your unbearable

What do college students and deer have in common?

They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

What did the deer first say when he got to church?

Deer God, please forgive me of my sins.

What do you call a deer with big eyes?

A big-eye deer!

What do you call a deer that likes rain?

A rain-deer. I know it's terrible.

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How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship?

9/11

Who succeeded the first President of the USA?

The second one!

Good Idea Jokes More Good Idea Jokes

Why is it never a good idea to use a Chinese phone book?

There are so many Wings and Wongs, you might wing a wong number.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

How much does 1 drop of gas cost me?

The boy stumbles: "Well euhm... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"

How could a leper afford a nice house?

It cost an arm and a leg

Deer Nut Jokes More Deer Nut Jokes

What's the difference between beer nut and deer nuts?

Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck.

How are beer nuts like deer nuts?

You can find a small bag of each under a buck.

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What do you call a beast made entirely from egg whites?

A Meringue-u-tang!!! Note: I know it's spelled Orangutan.

What do Greek teenagers say?

Omega!! Note: surely it already exists but I thought of it independently and am proud of my terrible joke!

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you mean you can't sleep?

It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*

What has eyes but can't see?

Hellen Keller

Beer Nut Jokes More Beer Nut Jokes

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck

What's the difference...?

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and deer nuts are just under a buck.

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend?

She paints a target icon around the outlet.