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Deliver Jokes

What is the most essential part of any joke?

The way that the punchline of the joke is delivered.

Love
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What did the doctor say when he delivered a blonde-haired baby to an expecting Chinese couple?

Two Wongs don't make a white

What do you call a person who delivers horribly?

A re-postman. Or a re-post person if you feel triggered.

What did one ovary say to the other one?

Did you order any furniture?" "No. Why?" asked the other. "Cause there's two nuts out there trying to deliver an organ."

Why was Marc Antony still interested in Cleopatra even when she's just had a baby?

Because it was delivered via Ceasarion section

Why do they call Hannibal Lecter The Mail Man?

He always delivers.

Which famous pop duo were the best at delivering cereal?

Haulin' Oates

What's the best thing to say if a pizzaman does an AMA?

OP delivers.

What does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Sleigh-er

Howard was a kid with a paper route?

Probably not. Opie delivered.

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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How do blind doctors deliver babies?

With a can't c-section.

Why is a reflection always twice as good as the real thing?

I actually don't know where to post this idea, true jokes maybe?... There has to be a food for thought sub. This is your OP, I promise to deliver!

Why did it take so long for the postie to deliver the missing jigsaw piece?

He had a bit of a puzzle in his hands

Why does OP never deliver?

Removed

Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?

Just order them without liver.

What is a long, tiresome speech delivered by a frothy pie topping?

Meringue-harangue

What will Tesla build this Christmas to help santa deliver presents?

An elf driving car

How many calls do I get?

Cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy?

Because Opey never delivered.

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Why don't the post office get the Jehovah's Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday?

Work smarter not harder people.

What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill?

They stop delivering.

What does a Obstetrician and a well written joke have in common?

They deliver

What is it called when brown envelopes aren't delivered as quickly as white ones?

White Mail Privilege

How are the Oakland Raiders like the mailman?

Neither one delivers on Sunday!

What were the last two pizzas delivered to the world trade centers?

Two large planes

Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman?

He never delivered.

What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?

Obi-Gyn Kenobi.

What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas?

Chjesus Chrust *Thanks I will show myself out*

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

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What do the dolphins and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

What happens when a pizzaman does an AMA on Reddit?

OP delivers.

Who delivers presents to the hood?

Crip Cringle.

What do you call someone that delivers baby horses?

An Equinecologist.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!

Why would OP make a terrible pizza chain?

Because they don't deliver.

Who delivers pizza in the hood?

Popo John's

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

Which former pop star would be most likely to help deliver a baby?

Paula Ab-doula

What do the post office and the San Francisco 49ers have in common?

They don't deliver on Sunday

Where does monty python buy his water?

From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally.

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Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

Why do Lannisters hate turtles?

Cause they can't stab them in the back

Organ Jokes More Organ Jokes

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

What's better than four roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Furniture Jokes More Furniture Jokes

How are blind kids punished by their parents?

The parents move the furniture.

How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

Get some furniture

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

When do you know that you are getting old?

When you have babies on purpose

What do you call a really really big ant?

A GIANT! Now what do you call a baby ant an Infant! What do you call an ant thats into business A Merchant! please post more ant jokes if you know of any.

Essential Jokes More Essential Jokes

Whats the most essential part of telling a joke about terrorism?

An explosive punchline

What is the most essential part of any joke?

The way that the punchline of the joke is delivered.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

How did the Italians lose WWII?

They ordered ziti instead of shells.

How was the bear able to move in order to get honey?

It had muscles.

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

Why was Cleopatra angry?

She was on her pyramid. Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

Why was Marc Antony still interested in Cleopatra even when she's just had a baby?

Because it was delivered via Ceasarion section

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."

How many ways are there to please a guy?

Three way.