Deliver Jokes

What is the most essential part of any joke?

The way that the punchline of the joke is delivered.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why was Marc Antony still interested in Cleopatra even when she's just had a baby?

Because it was delivered via Ceasarion section

Why do they call Hannibal Lecter The Mail Man?

He always delivers.

Which famous pop duo were the best at delivering cereal?

Haulin' Oates

What does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Sleigh-er

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

Why did it take so long for the postie to deliver the missing jigsaw piece?

He had a bit of a puzzle in his hands

Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?

Just order them without liver.

What is a long, tiresome speech delivered by a frothy pie topping?

Meringue-harangue

What will Tesla build this Christmas to help santa deliver presents?

An elf driving car

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What does a Obstetrician and a well written joke have in common?

They deliver

How are the Oakland Raiders like the mailman?

Neither one delivers on Sunday!

What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?

Obi-Gyn Kenobi.

What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas?

Chjesus Chrust *Thanks I will show myself out*

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

What do the dolphins and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

What do you call someone that delivers baby horses?

An Equinecologist.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

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Which former pop star would be most likely to help deliver a baby?

Paula Ab-doula

What do the post office and the San Francisco 49ers have in common?

They don't deliver on Sunday

Where does monty python buy his water?

From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Where does Santa stash his money?

In a snowbank.

What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa getting stuck in their chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why do writers always feel cold?

Because they are surrounded by drafts!

What do you call ham that feels better?

Cured ham.

Organ Jokes More Organ Jokes

What organ in the body never dies?

THE LIVER. ometrist will copyright this joke. hopefully.

What's the only thing better than Roses on a Piano?

Tulips on an Organ.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

What's the most important part of a joke, the setup or the punchline?

To get to the other side.

What's the difference between a punchline and a cute girl?

Sometimes I get the punchline

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

What did the guy without hands get for Christmas?

We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

What do you call someone who keeps trying the same thing again and again, yet expects different results?

A weapons designer for the First Order.

What the hell did you expect for ten dollars?

Lobster

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

An inj-oink-tion.

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."