Girl Jokes

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

Why do girls like nice guys?

Cause nice guys always finish last.

What do you give a girl who already has everything?

Antibiotics

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

The girl necks door.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What is the difference between a girl from London and a Kitkat?

You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How far have you gone with a girl?

I went to Canada with my mum once

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

Why don't you play with your friends?

He asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

What happened to the girl who put too many deviating data into her box plot?

In the end her spread was so large she had to present it without any whiskers.

Why did the brownie get kicked off the baseball team?

Because she was a girl.

What do you call a guy going down on a girl with a smile on his face?

A Gladiator

What do you call a group of girls all named Paige?

A chapter.

How do you get girls?

Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying.

Why don't girls where skirts in the winter?

So they don't get chapped lips.

Why did the girl sit on her watch?

She wanted to be on time.

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Why would I be mad?

Girls who are mad

Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant?

Because they always miss their target!

When you see a girl who was hot in high school, but a decade later she's not https://www.youtube.com/watch?

V=6-RfZDiayDI

What does a girl want more than anything?

Nothing. She is fine.

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?

The girl in church has her soul full of hope...

What girl's name is like a letter?

Kay (K).

What do you call a girl that gives head in the shower?

Brainwashed.

What do guys like but are afraid of?

Girls

What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

What are the 2 reasons the girl broke up with her boyfriend?

Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.

What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween?

Mash-scara!

How can a girl make you a millionaire?

If you're already a billionaire.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

A smile and wave!

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a bowling alley?

Elaine

What do you call a girl between two posts?

Annette.

Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam.

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Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell that someone's a vegan?

Don't worry they'll tell you themselves.

How do you know when someone is gluten free?

Don't worry, they'll tell you. "Exit stage right...."

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

What do you call Batman without a soul?

Bn. (B "atma" n)

How can you tell if a duck has soul?

If it's bill withers!

Ice Cream Jokes More Ice Cream Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and ice cream?

Ice cream fits in a tub.

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

Northern Girl Jokes More Northern Girl Jokes

Which is more promiscuous, a Northern girl or a Southern girl?

A Northern girl says "You can" but a Southern girl says "Y'all can"!

Y'all Jokes More Y'all Jokes

Which is more promiscuous, a Northern girl or a Southern girl?

A Northern girl says "You can" but a Southern girl says "Y'all can"!

Good Girl Jokes More Good Girl Jokes

Who's a good girl?

WHOSAGOODGIRRRRLLL Me: *looks around* *slowly raises hand*

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis.

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel