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Bone Jokes

How many bones are there in a graveyard?

A skeleTON.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones

How do skeletons make a baby?

They bone

What do you call it when George Thorogood farts on a throne?

Air to the bone

How much do all the bones in the human body weigh?

A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out.

What do you call a dog who digs for bones?

A Bark-aeologist

Why did Lt. Lenk and Sgt. Colborn cross the road?

To put the bones on the other side.

How would you describe a joke about bones?

Humerus.97

How many pancakes can you fit into a dog house?

None because ice cream doesn't have bones.

What do you call a Canadian fish with no bones?

Phil, eh?

Why was the paleontologist angry?

Because he had a bone to pick.

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I Love Pizza & You

How did The Hulk's mind blow?

Somebody threw a bone very far and Hulk yelled "HULK GET IT! HEY WAIT."

What's an archaeologist's favorite verb?

Bone.

What do a teenage boy and a dog have in common?

They both want to bury their bone.

What happens when you find bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

What do you call a bone that disrespects God?

A Blasfemur

What did the scientists say when they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?

Because you can't bury them in trees!

What did the emu say to the nurse?

Mend her bones or walk the plank

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Who's there! Bones! Bones who?

Bones upon a time...!

How many marshmallows does it take to get to the moon?

Purple, there are no bones in ice cream!

What do giants and strippers have in common?

They both grind on bones to make their bread.

What do you call a fish that is good for your bones?

An orthopedic sturgeon.

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

Why did the doggy cross the road?

To get to the bone! Q:Why did the bone cross the road A: To get away!

Why does our body absorb Strontium?

To make our bones stronger

What did it mean when they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

What kind of bone do you find in a dinosaur steak?

A T-Bone!!!!

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?

Because you can't bury them in the sky!

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did one archeologist say to the other archeologist when he screwed up?

I've got a bone to pick with you

What's a dogs favorite TV show?

Bones.

How much does a truck full of bones weigh?

A skeleTon

What does a skeleton use to carry his bones?

A CART-ilage

How much calcium is in a kiss?

Enough to make a bone hard.

Why did the skull not want to go to prom, but still did?

He didn't have any *body* to go with But he still really wanted to bone.

How do skeletons kiss?

They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.

Why was the skeleton using the Internet?

To bone up on his schoolwork.

What did the black cat say to the fish?

I've got a bone to pick with you!

What's the difference between foreplay and KFC?

Once you're finished with the breasts and thighs, you're left with a greasy box to put your bone in.

How many bones are in the human hand?

A handful of them.

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Graveyard Jokes More Graveyard Jokes

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

Why is there a fence around the graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What's worse?

Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else

What do you call the second-most hated politician in America?

Madam President.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did so many blacks die in Vietnam?

Every time someone said "Get down!" they jumped up and started dancing.

Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What are goosebumps used for?

To keep geese from speeding!

What do canes and blue pills have in common?

They're both ready for use when a man is limp.

Breast Jokes More Breast Jokes

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't?

Her navel.

Banker Jokes More Banker Jokes

Why did the banker resign?

His customers lost interest in him.

What did the banker get for Christmas?

My 401k

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way.

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster showed up for the ball?

You look quite put-together this evening.