Knead Jokes

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He was kneading a poo.

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Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

Because he was kneaded.

Why are pizza makers always poor?

Because they knead dough to make a living.

Why/How do bakers work?

They knead the dough.

What did the hands say to the flour?

I knead you!

Why were the baker's hands smelly?

He kneaded a poo

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough.

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

Why did the baker's hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo.

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Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the dough say to the baker?

You, knead me.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

What did the unused dough say to the baker?

Why don't you knead me

Why is money called dough?

Because we all knead it.

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What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded.

Why did the baker bake more bread?

He kneaded the dough.

What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough?

You're my life's devotion. I knead you!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!

When is a bread not kneaded?

When it's unnecessary.

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

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What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?

He is risen.

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Cos' sin tans

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To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

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When around both, one eventually stops moving. Forgive me.

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What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

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Why do people never see an Apple store getting robbed?

It doesn't have windows.

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What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread?

I don't dough!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.