Penguin Jokes

What do you call a cross between a penguin and a cow?

Pregnant

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What's a Penguins favorite type of pasta?

Penguini

How does a penguin make a decision?

Flipper coin.

What do penguins do in a race?

They peng-win

How does a penguin keep itself hydrated?

His waddle bottle.

Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage?

He had cold feet.

Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg?

Because he got cold feet.

Who's the only living relative of penguin?

His Aunt Arctica

What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?

The penguin who pushed him!

Why do penguins never go to England?

Because they're afraid of Wales!

What do you call a gang of penguins?

A ganguin

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Why are there no penguins in Britain?

They're scared of Wales.

What do you call a penguin that can't win?

A peng-lose!

What did the penguin say to the polar bear?

Nothing, penguins live in the South Pole and polar bears live in the North Pole.

Why don't penguins ever get married?

They always get cold feet!

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

What kind of bird can write?

A penguin.

What do you get if you cross a giant hairy monster with a penguin?

I don't know but it's a very tightfitting tuxedo.

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

Why don't you see penguins in Britain?

Because they're afraid of Wales

Why can't penguins fly?

They're too short to reach the controls of the plane.

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What is Antarctica's version of tinder called?

Pick up a penguin

Why are penguins so shy?

They always get cold feet.

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

Why are penguins socially awkward?

Because they can't break the ice.

What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins?

Fred.

Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with?

The Icebergs

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost.

What bird can write underwater?

A ball-point Penguin!

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

What do you call an Penguin with dandruff?

Frosted Flakes

What's a penguins favourite relative?

Aunt Arctica! PENGUIN.. ME makes flies over head motion PENGUIN I don't know what that means

Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics?

He was caught taking Polaroids.

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

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Slide Jokes More Slide Jokes

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

Because that's the direction his car was sliding.

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What kind of house does Chuck Norris live in?

A roundhouse.

What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus.

Cold Foot Jokes More Cold Foot Jokes

Why don't penguins ever get married?

They always get cold feet!

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?

Because he got cold feet.

Flipper Coin Jokes More Flipper Coin Jokes

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

How does a penguin make a decision?

Flipper coin.

North Pole Jokes More North Pole Jokes

What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?

Cold cream!

What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people?

An icebreaker

Mortgage Jokes More Mortgage Jokes

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

Why is it so hard to get a mortgage in Columbia SC?

All the homes there are underwater

Penguini Jokes More Penguini Jokes

What's a polar bears favourite pasta?

Penguini!

What's a Penguins favorite type of pasta?

Penguini

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the Sun's favorite candy?

Starburst!

How do you know when there's a vegetarian at your bbq?

They'll tell you.