Penguin Jokes

What do you call a cross between a penguin and a cow?

Pregnant

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What's a Penguins favorite type of pasta?

Penguini

How does a penguin make a decision?

Flipper coin.

What do penguins do in a race?

They peng-win

How does a penguin keep itself hydrated?

His waddle bottle.

Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage?

He had cold feet.

Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg?

Because he got cold feet.

Who's the only living relative of penguin?

His Aunt Arctica

What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?

The penguin who pushed him!

Why do penguins never go to England?

Because they're afraid of Wales!

What do you call a gang of penguins?

A ganguin

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why are there no penguins in Britain?

They're scared of Wales.

What do you call a penguin that can't win?

A peng-lose!

What did the penguin say to the polar bear?

Nothing, penguins live in the South Pole and polar bears live in the North Pole.

Why don't penguins ever get married?

They always get cold feet!

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

What's your enemy called?

Dr Doom. Yours " "Joker" stifles laughter "I HAVE OTHERS" "Ye-" "Penguin" just loses it

What kind of bird can write?

A penguin.

What do you get if you cross a giant hairy monster with a penguin?

I don't know but it's a very tightfitting tuxedo.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A Penguin rolling down a hill What's black and white and laughing The penguin who pushed him

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why don't you see penguins in Britain?

Because they're afraid of Wales

Why can't penguins fly?

They're too short to reach the controls of the plane.

What is Antarctica's version of tinder called?

Pick up a penguin

What performance enhancing drugs do penguins use?

Polaroids

Why are penguins so shy?

They always get cold feet.

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

Why are penguins socially awkward?

Because they can't break the ice.

What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins?

Fred.

Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with?

The Icebergs

What do you get when you cross human DNA with a penguin?

A life time ban at the zoo

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost.

What bird can write underwater?

A ball-point Penguin!

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

What do you call an Penguin with dandruff?

Frosted Flakes

What's a penguins favourite relative?

Aunt Arctica! PENGUIN.. ME makes flies over head motion PENGUIN I don't know what that means

Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics?

He was caught taking Polaroids.

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

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Britain Jokes More Britain Jokes

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

Why don't you see penguins in Britain?

Because they're afraid of Wales

Polar Bear Jokes More Polar Bear Jokes

Where do polar bears go to deposit money?

A snowbank

What is the definition of a polar bear?

A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

What do you call a gang of tires?

A rubber band

Penguini Jokes More Penguini Jokes

What's a polar bears favourite pasta?

Penguini!

What's a Penguins favorite type of pasta?

Penguini

Mortgage Jokes More Mortgage Jokes

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

Why is it so hard to get a mortgage in Columbia SC?

All the homes there are underwater

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you get a German out of the bath?

Turn on the water.

Why are TV's attracted to people?

Because we turn them on. / /

Machine Gun Jokes More Machine Gun Jokes

What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful

What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.