Sit Jokes

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why does nobody like to sit next to Elsa?

Coz...she "let's it go!"

What do you call it when you sit on a high chair to see if you want to buy it?

A stool sample.

Why did the girl sit on her watch?

She wanted to be on time.

Whats it called when you 69 with someone who is sitting in a wheelchair?

Meals on wheels

Who has a long nose wears a mask and sits tall in the saddle?

The Lone Aardvark!

What do eskimos do when it gets cold?

They go into their igloos and sit around a candle. What do they do when it gets even colder They turn on the candle.

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?

You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?

Time to get a new car.

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

What did the man say when he sat on a candle?

Fire in the hole!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

Because she kept sitting on pinocchio's face moaning, "lie to me!"

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

How are you baby?

I am in bed and thinking about you... And you my dear - I am at a club... And sitting right behind you!!

What's white and Irish and sits in your backyard all year?

Paddy O'Furniture

What do you call 7 white guys sitting on a bench?

The nba

Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road surfing the Net?

The www.izard of Oz.

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.

Whos the funniest disney princess?

RaPUNzel *sits there laughing to self*...so lonely..

How was the movie?

Brian: A real turkey. I could hardly sit through it the second time!

What would Hillary tell Bill when she will sit at the Oval Office?

Close, Bill, but no cigar!

Why is it a tragedy?

Because a Cadillac sits six.

What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the snow for too long?

Polaroids.

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What's Irish and sits out in the rain?

Paddy o' Furniture

What's big and white and sits in a tree?

A fridge. What's big and white and blue and sits in a tree A fridge wearing jeans.

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.

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Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What's that hangin' off ye?

The pirate responds, "arrr! I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!"

How much do pirates pay for their earrings?

About a buccaneer!

Deck Jokes More Deck Jokes

What's the best side of the house to build a deck on?

The outside

Why cant you play cards on a rowboat?

Because you're sitting on the deck...

Jean Jokes More Jean Jokes

What's Super Mario's favorite type of jeans?

Denim Denim Denim

What causes a half-moon?

Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?

Open the door. Put in the elephant. Close the door.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a truck full of marbles and a truck full of babies?

You can't unload a truck full of marbles with a pitchfork.

What if my baby doesn't make ultra sounds?

What if it's just farting noises Is it graded on a curve

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall?

There may be leavesdropping

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

How do you stay warm outside in the winter?

You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees.

Why is it warmer near the corners of a room?

Cause they're at 90 degrees.

18 Hole Jokes More 18 Hole Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.