Kind Jokes

What kind of health insurance does a llama need?

Ollamacare

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of trainer are you?

T: I'm a Megan Trainor.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

What kind of trucks do pigs drive?

A pig up truck

What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in?

A high rise

What kind of music does a printer make?

A paper jam.

What kind of sound does a horny toad make?

Rubbit, rubbit.

This joke may have profanity.

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

What kind of tea does an anarchist drink?

Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft.

What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite?

Funicula

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

Cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim.....

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits!

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move?

Poll dancing!

What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone?

Shelfies.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?

Sneakers

What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

What kind of music do welders like?

Heavy metal.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog that can walk on its hind legs all the time?

A human.

What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?

A complaint Bernard!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why don't women need umbrellas?

Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

How many Mexican clowns can you fit in a car?

No, seriously. Cuz I bet it's a lot

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's Jesus' favorite car?

A Christler.

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "jesus christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

Sushi Restaurant Jokes More Sushi Restaurant Jokes

What did the fish say for stinking up the sushi restaurant?

I am saury.

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

Why should you always carry toilet paper to the twilight zone?

Doodoo doodoo

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

Amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."