Try Jokes

Why is he 50m from where he got shot?

Our best guess was he tried crawling home to clear his browser history

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound?

If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

What was the first treacherous thing said?

Adam you gotta try this!

Why are they called The Fine Bros?

Because they try to get everyone fined for copyright.

What do you do with an infected chemist?

You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium

Why didn't the black kid play Pokemon?

He was afraid they were trying to catch Jamal.

How do you know that Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

What did Helen Keller's friend say to her?

Offensive) You should try blind dating.

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

What did the right testlcle say to the left?

Look at this guy in the middle trying to act all hard

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit?

Try to neghostiate.

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?

I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it!

How do we know Adam &amp Eve weren't black?

You ever tried taking a rib from a black man

What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage. sorry.

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?

You wanna pizza me!

How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?

Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Why did helium get into a fight with neon?

They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.

Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?

Good question. We're still trying to find out too.

What do you call those people who follow musicians around and try to hang with them after the show?

Drummers.

How Do We Know That Adam Wasn't Black?

Have you ever tried to take a rib from a black man

Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby?

Because "There is no Try."

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery?

Namaste

Why did your sister keep running around her bed?

Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

What's dumber than three blondes building a house underwater?

Three brunettes trying to burn it down.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.

What have you tried so far?

Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing

Why do christians burn fossil fuels?

They're trying to destroy the evidence.

What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo, apparently.

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

How to have an unforgettable date?

1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?

One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I am not sure, I haven't seen them try and I can't do it either.

How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?

Try it out on Internet Explorer

What do you do on a remote island?

Try and find the TV island it belongs to.

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

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Italy Jokes More Italy Jokes

Why is Italy's birth rate decreasing?

Because they pull out at the last second.

What's the best selling soft drink in Italy?

Dr. Pepe

Udder Jokes More Udder Jokes

What did the cow is standing all alone in a field say?

Where are the udders? (Thanks to my three boys for that one!)

Why did the milking stool only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

He removed the appendix!

Why didn't the mentally challenged kid finish his math test in time?

Because he was too slow.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it when a Muslim immigrant brings a clock to school in Texas?

Time to get a new principal.

What do you call someone who can't find a job?

A Psych major. (Pls list your own response - if you're awake and in America at this time, you should have a pretty good one). Thanks.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?

Sing the nation anthem they will sit down

Why are none talking in the ladies sauna?

They are sitting on their lips!

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many Hindus does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they will keep worshipping in dark.

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?

A knight light

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons?

Jose and Hose B

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes