Horse Jokes

What does ever horse and rider do at the same time?

Grow old!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

Why is horse racing so romantic?

Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

Why are horses no fun?

Because they are neigh-sayers

What actor do horses like the most?

Matthew McConaug-hay

What do horses drink at the bar?

Chardon-neigh

What do you get when you cross a horse, an elephant, and a rhino?

Helephino.

What do you call the horse that lives next door?

Your NEIGHHHbor Credit: 6y/o nephew

What did the horse say to Santa?

Nothing, horses can not speak.

Why did the horse go behind the tree?

To change his jockeys.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A horse and rider.

What has four legs and is made out of wood?

A horse.

What has four legs and see just as well from either end?

A horse with his eyes closed!

What do you call a horse that's been all around the world?

A globe-trotter!

Why are horses poor dancers?

They have two left feet.

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?

A seahorse!

Which side of a horse has the most hair?

The OUTSIDE! oh-my-goodness, that's hilarious! Skip

Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit?

An exhorsist!

Why did the man call his horse Fleabag?

Because he was often scratched!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse?

Neighbor

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

What do you call a horse that has very good vision underwater?

A seehorse.

Why did they have to stop playing water-polo in Poland?

All the horses drowned

What did the horse say to the one-legged jockey?

How're ye gettin' on

What duo were famous for stealing horses?

Bonnie and Clydesdale!

What did the cow say to the horse?

Mooooooo

Why did the horse get a DUI?

She had too many maretinis

What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?

A zebra!

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

Why can't Bach play the piano?

He "Baroque" his arm, and also he's dead.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell

Oppress Jokes More Oppress Jokes

What did the bread do after it had been oppressed for many years?

Rye-ot

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?

Because they're both cauldron

Rage Jokes More Rage Jokes

What's that over there?

I don't know but I just got a raging clue

What do you get when an alternative metal band runs out of toilet paper?

Rage Upon the Latrine

Long Face Jokes More Long Face Jokes

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How will I know when I'm an adult?

And I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'

When does a dyslexic person know they've bought the wrong SUV?

When they're in Denali.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

Why did you name your son Tinnitus?

I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it.

Jockey Jokes More Jockey Jokes

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

How do you call a jockey falling from his horse?

An Hippic fail.