IHOP
An investigator.
Are there any side effects ' No, it's Can I drink with these '
FDR. His standup could use some work.
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.
Neither work when you open windows.
Because he wanted them to work over-time
You're getting too wrapped up in your work!
Getting all high and mighty
He calls it a work of art.
A group of dentists who work together.
Krautsourcing
Me: Getting into my sports bra.
He tried, but it didn't work out.
How'd that work out for him
Because he doesn't work with Vision
Decaf coffee!
They're way too into Stalin
Bacon my day, sonny!" Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works
Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"
He just couldn't tape it anymore..
A dry doc.
When you ask the patients "what's the problem " They'll say "nothing"
Light mouse work.
There still working on it...
Working legs.
It's all I do. "WHAT " I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.
Ability to work under pressure.
Works every time What's a mattababy Nothing what's a matta with you
Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work
Just grab this electrical cable. Then what happens WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!!!!!
Decaf coffee.
You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.
Because it broke down and he couldn't budget.
A yeaster bunny!
Show your work.
Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from Italian hope it makes as much sense as there
Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the Shrek accent to work.
Their work usually has them pretty bent out of shape.
It doesn't work.
A Guardian of the Galaxy
No studs. All tongue in groove.
I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes... A FSHHH
IBM
Because everyone would get the same Marx.
He wanted to work overtime.
Because you want them to work don't you
Nail: Did you work the shaft
A sic joke
By rabbit transit!
They both work on crowded platforms.
Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."
They have such a high turnover rate.
Because he got Snowden
He couldn't see himself doing the work
I work on a different plane
HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text
Because they work.
I don't know, it's not my side work.
Guardians of the galaxy
Because it was two tired...
IPatch
Cause it had a hard drive.
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!
By icicle.
Around the cluck!
HR Department.
M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.
SW Engineering joke) If India worked on it
I can do "well-done" all the way to "CPR might actually work."
Bean working very hard today!
Alright, let's get down to beeswax!
Me
Ulta Magnus!
I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.
Because their companies are always short-staffed.
The hospital ran all out of patience
Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now.
Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.
They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.
Why do we have to do all the work
OC Dino-sore
A lawn moo-er.
Because his *degree* didn't work!
Neither one works.
Their work is a reflection of themselves.
Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.
His doughter.
Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying.
A buzzness suit!
You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium
So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.
He wanted to see who would have the last laugh. back to work...
Minority Bandleaders. Who says affermative action doesn't work.
X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company.
Put em' to work!... On a gospel record.
On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)
A *fabric*ator. It was a slow day at work...
High ho's, high ho's, it's off to work I go
Snow balls. Ha
A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns.
He had a loco motive.
His verdict.
If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.
BART: I don't know where my hair starts
Jock the stripper.
Electrifying entertainment.
Neither take your 3.5 inch floppy anymore.. unless you pay extra.
Neither. I have a friend who works in computers.
An actress.
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good
You get to meet new people everyday!
