30 because that's peasants work.
Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good
Because with them it always works out.
Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"
But "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking
Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See It works doesn't it
I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"
He wanted to work undercover.
About half of them.
We haven't spoken for five years".
Whorechata. Probably my best original, lemme know what you think.
The week force.
They're always trying to 1-Up you.
Spell check!
Working people's wallets.
Have a nice bite!
A celery increase.
All his work was pro bono.
Sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.
A *paradox.*
Deport him
You're single with no kids." Me: " Exactly."
Me: Why are you living in the past
He works on a cold case.
Because of the culture!
They can wear casual clothes to work
Development of a working match.
Because they'll work for p naughts.
The unemployment line.
At the He's Dead Gym.
Because it wouldn't commute!
He derives!
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
By icicles
I'm a big fan of your work
Getting ready for work
They don't. They just talk about when it did work.
Bach to work!
Because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
If it were black it would run. It just wouldn't work.
So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Bye, son.
The aftermath
He worked for a special branch.
Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.
A law suit.
I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either
Because Ken always came in another box.
Plantaintions.
Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet
Because they can't stop saving their work.
A Remote control
He just needed a little bit of Clojure.
Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**
Throw the guy out of the house.
Because supporters of other candidates are out working or voting.
Me: I didn't see you coming!
A reptile dysfunction.
Because it gets interrupted constantly.
A Friar
Does this smell like chloroform to you
The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper.
Remains to be seen.
Jim.
Because if his punch line doesn't work, you still get a kick out of it.
He came to work baked.
He catches a buzz.
Because it works
Core i3, i5, i7... ican't even! Edited from: >They can't even
Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.
Women working at 900 numbers.
Because they knead the dough.
Secretary: My lawyer.
You only get paid in tips.
An Official.
Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)
The Hanky chief (Yes this is all my own work, I thank you) No I am not a dad
Chop chop.
Wake me up before you go-go
Because she was an operetta (operator).
Because 7,8,9
His loving knife.
An acrocat!
Work smarter not harder people.
You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.
Because those men have got Stable jobs.
It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own'.
A bad news bear
The business plan.
Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit, thought i'd share it
Because they always work problems out with a pencil.
Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.
SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now
His boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."
I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work.
They briefly open one eye.
Wooden you like to know
Alloys.
Because he owns hell, he doesn't work for hell.
Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it sir.
You stop milking a cow after 150 years.
I am tired of looking for a job.
Because it was Low key
Homophonic I'm sorry...
High ho's, high ho's, it's off to work I go
Jack-u-la!
The other replied "Quick turn the car into a side street."
You take the "S" out of "Sub", and then you take the "F" out of "Way".
When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.
Hebrewed it.
Au lait.
Pick a cod, any cod!
Halal?
Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.
About four beers
