Play Jokes

Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?

In case you get a hole in one!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What Video Game do feminists LOVE to play?

No MAN'S sky!

Why couldn't the shoes go out and play?

They were all tied up.

This joke may have profanity.

What position do u play?

ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever.

Why do North Americans hate playing chess?

Cause they lack the towers.

Why does tigger have no friends?

Because he plays with pooh.

How do you tell a British guy that it's his turn to play ball?

Europe

What do you call a play about a moose on a bicycle?

A Moosical

When Greek people play a video game, what settings do they use?

Default

What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid?

Toyodas

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball?

They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)

Why do women aged 40+ not play hide and seek?

Cause nobody would be looking for them.

How can you tell if your stormtroopers just played paintball in their freetime again?

You can't.

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg?

First it goes ping then it goes pong.

Why do women over 40 don't play hide and seek?

Because nobody is looking for them.

Who writes all his plays on the Internet?

Will-e. Shakespeare.

What do baby pythons play with?

Rattle-snakes.

Who's your friend who likes to play?

JOHN CENA** *DUn DUnDUnDUn DUn DUnDUnDUn.*

Why don't they play poker in the savanna?

Because there are too many cheetahs. Thank you i will be here all day.

What do Mexicans play at their funerals?

Another Juan Bites The Dust

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

What do you call it when Batman plays hooky from church?

Christian Bale

How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?

Shoot one.

What do you call a Muslim who plays '50s rock music during Ramadan?

A Rama-dana-ding-dong

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

How many birds can play tic-tac-toe?

Toucan

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well?

Her coach was a pumpkin

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother.

Why does nobody like Tigger?

Because he plays with Pooh.

Why did they have to stop playing water-polo in Poland?

All the horses drowned

What is Stevie Wonder's favorite key to play in?

C minor

Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball?

They had No Quarter

Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game?

He got suspended.

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

When does one play a corny game?

You play it by ear.

Why does jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

What white actor is going to play Prince in his bio pic?

Peter Dinklige

Why couldn't Harry play basketball?

Because he's got no arms.

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

What do you call it when seven minutes in heaven is played at Comic-Con?

Close encounters of the nerd kind

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why don't skeletons play music in church?

Because they got no organs.

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?

Because it's all play.

Why do orphans play tennis?

It's the only way they can get love.

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

What game do monsters play with humans?

Squash.

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!

What is a tornado's favorite game to play?

Twister!

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Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What do elephants sing at Christmas?

Noel-ephants Noel-ephants...

What genre can't Ed Sheeran sing?

Soul

Student Jokes More Student Jokes

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

How can we keep our school Clean?

Student: By Staying at home.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?

To catch a predator. Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5? Because they can't even! Why do white people have so many pets? Because owning people is not legal anymore Would love to hear more white people-specific jokes :) They seem to be really rare.

Why can't R2D2 walk?

Because he has MS-DOS

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

Whoa- is that Elvis?

Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators

What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?

Wrap music

Musician Jokes More Musician Jokes

What do you call people who hang out with musicians?

Drummers

What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Who names a kid after an activity?

Storms off w/ his son, Kegger

What do you say to Micheal Jackson when he is on the beach?

Get out of my son!

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."?

No one should be that happy.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why did Frosty drop his pants?

Because he's a pervert that likes showing people his snowballs.

Why doesn't Bill like old houses?

He's afraid of the draft.