One has hydraulics the other has high bolics.
They both have wings, except for the elephant.
The green cabs haven't ripened yet.
I don't want to plow my driveway
Leibniz was able to integrate in 1675.
One are Walkers and the others just Lays around.
The start menu.
A STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!
One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo
The electrician knows where the ground is.
One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.
You can helicopter your banana but you can't banana your helicopter
Ones green and the other is black
I've never paid to have a lentil on me!
A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."
An egg gets laid
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR
People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.
A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!
You can't ride your bike on a sociopath
Santa would never free an elf.
No fee--If No Recovery!
I've never smeared tigger on my face
One's wanted.
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Being cupped is far more pleasurable than being mugged
OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant
6 inches is medium 8 inches is rare.
Larry Hogan gets back from the hospital.
We don't need an asteroid...
About 3 replies in the top comment thread.
The podiatrist bucks up your feet.
A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns.
About 10 pounds.
Nothing.
Unlike football, you'll never get to spike it in the Friendzone.
A battery has a positive side.
Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.
In professional wrestling they know what they are doing.
I've never had a Walnut on my chest..
And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'
Nicki Minaj never owned slaves.(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=Gr1p4KtgOXc)
My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.
One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.
One is piracy and the other is CONSpiracy
Paul Walker wouldn't be seen dead in a Skoda.
None. Eventually, both of them are gonna crash.
About 5000 miles.
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon.
One requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.
For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".
Eggs get laid at least once.
A golfer goes "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn".
The bad golfer goes::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!"::Whack::
Twitter only allows 140 characters.
I can sleep with a light on.
One builds weapons and the other build targets.
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
An electron
This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.
A)..... The rooster clucks defiance.
One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different
One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon
2-3 weeks tops.
Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.
The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.
Deer nuts are under a buck.
Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.
Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window
Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
Peter Parker can shoot webs. Clark Kent.
You would pay to have a potato on you...
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!
About 20 beers!!
Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.
The people miss Harambe.
Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.
You can sleep with a light on.
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four
Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.
There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!
A pencil has a point.
An ion!
The bomb vest actually does something when triggered.
The pencil has a point
No idea man, im just flying the drone.
One is a super hero and the other is a simple command.
The knife has a point
Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.
Beer nuts are a dollar twenty five, deer nuts are under a buck
The people in Abu Dhabi? The people in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi Do!
Disney movies can still touch children.
You will see one later and one in a while.
A-tyre
I don't have Ferrari in my garage.
It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
An introverted engineer looks at his feet when he talks to you. An extroverted engineer looks at YOUR feet when he talks to you!
A sweet Dill.
On dos axes
You invite two of them.
Booze.
Dads in unison DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT
Tires need changing too you know!
A major difference.
Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)
A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)
Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.
Milky Eh.... Get it?
Take away its brooms.
Fur traders!
Paint it black.
