A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.
If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.
Ironman is a superhero, Ironwoman is a command.
Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin')...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).
5 years.
A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays
A cow can't be milked for over 30 years
A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.
People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.
Popularity.
A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!
One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin
A virus does something.
You can't unload sand with pitchforks.
A funeral is a meeting where you're dead outside as well as in.
The sun exists.
You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time
A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.
One is a cold heartless machine, used by everyone......And the other is useful with a Cafe. Gnite folks!
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.
A WWE wrestler will get up after faking an injury.
A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.
20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*
One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.
Just three inches.
A tire.
The url.
Toilet paper.
Yogurt's got a culture. (no offence)
My couch pulls out.
A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.
One starts with B and the otber starts with D
One less drunk.
One holds photos The other holds five
A rental car can go anywhere
Eggs get laid at least once.
February 14th.
A bomb vest does something when it's triggered.
One hits the spot...
You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.
Attire
One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture
Cows are real.
Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.
What base you're counting in.
Hello, world" and "Goodbye, cruel world"
Not everyone's been up the Empire State Building
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.
The train got windows
You aren't naked in my bed.
The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.
About 5 drinks
One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".
The guy would survive the first round.
Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.
You can't gbrblblblbl(gargling noise) with a regular stool.
You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.
The lift attendants have jobs.
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant!
A duck is a carbon-based life form while a curling iron is an inanimate appliance
The bus driver stops to let the kids out.
A pencil has a point.
Gnomenclature.
In a casino, you really mean it.
You cry when you cut up an onion.
Good Mourning! *(this pun is baaad and I feel terrible about it)*
A podiatrist bucks up your feet.
Ones used for cunning stunts.
Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.
The spelling.
About 1500 miles.
Have you ever tried worm pie!
Removed
I can't memory my weiner in your mouth.
A tire
The coffin has the corpse on the inside.
Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
About 3 inches
People laugh at my face.
The umbrella can be shut up.
A triangle has three points
The woman in church has hope in her soul.
One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack!
The star has a bright future.
A church bell peals from the steeple.
Sesame Street has an Oscar.
There's no punchline for this joke.
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna!
Have you ever tried to peel an elephant
I don't know.
Walt Disney.
The car salesman knows he is lying.
A plane
A quarter pounder with cheese.
I don't have Ferrari in my garage.
Flush the toilet.
9 mouths
Old Jed's a millionaire.
It was the knight time
Because they devour wood.
Halfway, any further and you're running out.
Because 50% of the taste is in the smell.
2Na
Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)
Ryan Locht-up
Lettuce Go!
Rich AND famous, apparently
An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.
