The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.
I never had a garbanzo bean in my mouth!
One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week
You only need one nail to hang the painting.
Nothing if you're a gorilla.
Attire.
About 3 weeks.
I don't know you tell me.
Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.
When you ask them "2+2 is?":
Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over body
One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.
A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".
Because they're both cauldron
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna.
After 200 years, the Yoghurt develops a culture.
You can't gargle with the sand.
There's none, both live for the hits.
About a day
Only one of them made it to the moon.
The circus has a cunning array of stunts.
With Twitter you only get 140 characters.
Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident
I don't know I just fly the drone.
The Kindle Fire has a lithium battery.
One bursts into tears. The other bursts out of tears
A sixth sense
I don't have an alcohol collection.
Sometimes the homeless get change.
There is no difference. The joke is you just learned math.
The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to "tell us about yourself."
Jokes about Batman's parents can get old.
Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck
The color. Yes, this is an anti-joke. Downvote please.
Their parents.
Everyone WANTS to be Irish on st Patrick's day.
When you run over a dog you don't have to go back and get the GoPro.
The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.
LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.
Rick Grimes has two I's....
Paul Walker only crashed once.
A Golden Retriever can sing better.
Eric Clapton would never let an 8-ball fall out the window!
Tiger Woods has a better driver.
Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money
A triathlete doesn't go both ways.
Are you serious? I could give you a mouthful.
A rental car can drive anywhere.
A $100 bill makes change
You can't top a good pizza joke.
The first one saves people from criminals, while the latter saves criminals from the people.
It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim
A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.
News of the elections is getting old.
The homeless man has $7 to his name.
Even if it is cold it's still good.
A battery has a positive side.
21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH 1st floor goes: AHHHHHHHHHH
About eighty years
When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.
It can neither fly
Logic
The crew.
With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out.
A couple of weeks
Culture
In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.
Dead people had lives.
St. Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.
In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.
How high you tie it on a tree.
If you leave yoghurt alone for 2000 years it'll develop a culture.
One less drunk.
69 cents.
What POC means.
A toddler can count past two...
I dunno I just fly the drone.....
One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.
There is none. All of us hope that the next version will be more stable.
One of them is purple
A building in Dubai.
About 568 horses.
You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich.
Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
You can tuna piano, but you cant piano tuna!
The time God took to cook us
One of it's legs is a little smaller.
At Olive Garden the servers actually work.
Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck
One is a group of cunning stunts.
You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.
I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.
There aren't many paedos in the camp.
One brightly shines...
One of them makes sense!
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna
A few degrees.
I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box.
One makes you: The other is a synthetic drug.
When you start to make deposits at the sperm bank, you loose interest
Because they must be able to "dust for Prince"
J-lo Cloths
What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!
They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it
A major difference.
About thirty thousand dollars a year.
Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)
Annette
A positive side....
Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.
SEVEN.
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!
By school buzz!
