After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.
Gangs don't have to pay for friends.
Wendy's is never frozen.
About two hours.
One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.
A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
One's a pro, and one's a con.
One's gotta pee.
A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW
One knows the stops the other stops the nose.
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
About three inches.
I've never had a lima bean on my chest
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
There are skidmarks before the dog.
Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..
Gator-raid.
3 inches
About 3 inches
Well, a normal ambulance is usually a van with a stretcher in the back. A skydiving ambulance A bucket and a shovel.
The bad golfer goes::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!"::Whack::
The extra large pizza can feed a family of four.
On a quantum level, there is no difference.
A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store
Dad jokes are punnier.
If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.
One baits his hook the other hates his book.
You pull down its genes.
A tire.
A) Usually about 6 months.
Attire.
A schoolteacher says "Spit out that toffee" and a train says "Choo choo."
Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!
A. You can't tuna fish.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Umm... I don't know... I've got nothing.
I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face.
Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.
The pencil has a point
Attire
A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters
A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.
Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.
A caver rescues a spelunker.
The girl in church has her soul full of hope...
The canoe tips.
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!
I cry when I chop an onion.
When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."
Half a measure.
I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.
One has hope in her soul...
You don't talk about fight club.
Bonds mature.
With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.
3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)
Dry ice lacks of water.
The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home.
You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.
One has hydraulics the other has high bolics.
They both have wings, except for the elephant.
The green cabs haven't ripened yet.
Ask them what 'unsigned' means.
Tequila never goes bad
You can't mash Frankenstein.
A nun only serves one God.
There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!
The aged cheddar isn't as sharp as it once was.
A radius
One is a bar room, and the other is a *BARROOM!*
Dubai don't broadcast the Flintstones but AbuDhabidooooooooo
Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.
One are Walkers and the others just Lays around.
The start menu.
One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo
Beer nuts are over a dollar deer nuts are under a buck. (old but good)
One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.
A gun only has one trigger.
Snow White had the excuse of being asleep when she let seven in.
One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.
An egg gets laid
Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Try picking it up. If you can't it's either a monster or a giant banana.
A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!
You can't ride your bike on a sociopath
Santa would never free an elf.
No fee--If No Recovery!
One's wanted.
I've never smeared tigger on my face
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant
We don't need an asteroid...
The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.
I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.
His portrait only need one nail
She was maid in France!
Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.
On dos axes
A sweet Dill.
Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise
When it shows no vital sines.
A Kami.
An American
J-lo Cloths
Catholic
They're both Catholics.
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.
One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon
A major difference.
