The extrovert looks at your feet when talking.
One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.
The extra large pizza can feed a family of four.
I've never had a lima bean on my chest
A cardboard box isn't always empty on the inside.
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
There are skidmarks before the dog.
Nothing. We're on reddit
There isn't a Ferrari in my garage
Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..
Gator-raid.
RemindMe! 2 days to edit this post
3 inches
About 3 inches
About a couple thousand years.
Well, a normal ambulance is usually a van with a stretcher in the back. A skydiving ambulance A bucket and a shovel.
The bad golfer goes::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!"::Whack::
A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.
On a quantum level, there is no difference.
The size of the tip.
A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store
Dad jokes are punnier.
What " "You aren't coming to my house"
If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.
One baits his hook the other hates his book.
You pull down its genes.
A tire.
A) Usually about 6 months.
Attire.
The Storm Trooper would have missed Harambe
A schoolteacher says "Spit out that toffee" and a train says "Choo choo."
What you get served at KFC is original.
A. You can't tuna fish.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window
No, seriously, I want to know.
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.
Umm... I don't know... I've got nothing.
I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face.
Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.
The pencil has a point
Attire
A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters
A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.
Some days the wind doesn't blow.
A firm grip on the back of her head.
Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.
A caver rescues a spelunker.
People can Voat.
The girl in church has her soul full of hope...
Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...
The canoe tips.
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!
I cry when I chop an onion.
When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."
Your mum doesn't starlings.
Half a measure.
Pls help.
I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.
A cheeseburger can't feed your ego.
After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.
One has hope in her soul...
You don't talk about fight club.
Bonds mature.
With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.
3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)
Dry ice lacks of water.
The dress is white and gold
The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home.
You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.
One has hydraulics the other has high bolics.
They both have wings, except for the elephant.
The green cabs haven't ripened yet.
I don't want to plow my driveway
Ask them what 'unsigned' means.
Tequila never goes bad
About 10 pounds.
You can't mash Frankenstein.
A nun only serves one God.
There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!
The aged cheddar isn't as sharp as it once was.
You didn't pop out of a toaster.
A radius
One is a bar room, and the other is a *BARROOM!*
Dubai don't broadcast the Flintstones but AbuDhabidooooooooo
Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.
One are Walkers and the others just Lays around.
The start menu.
A STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!
One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo
Beer nuts are over a dollar deer nuts are under a buck. (old but good)
One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.
A gun only has one trigger.
Snow White had the excuse of being asleep when she let seven in.
You can helicopter your banana but you can't banana your helicopter
One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.
Ones green and the other is black
A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."
The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons.
Flush the toilet.
Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!
A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.
Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.
A heroine addict.
Arse-on. **Cough Cough** I'll see my way out.
A small medium at large
SEVEN.
Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.
Pop,goes the weasel.
One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different
She was maid in France!
One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.
I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.
