The election year.
Don't ask me, I'm just the drone pilot.
Your grip.
Well, one things for sure
If you leave yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.
When the sandwich drops I'm sad.
A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.
A dollar.
After 200 years a yogurt will develop a culture.
You can get cereal without nuts.
One has parents
Nothing, someone is losing a trailer!
Ray Charles wasn't a one-hit wonder.
You can tune a chainsaw.
Well, you can sleep with a light on.
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
A teabag stays in the cup longer
One is a group made up of radicals with extremist views. And the other group is ISIS.
A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.
Sesame Street has an Oscar.
What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail
A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.
An aircondtior can be hot
Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner
The boat cuts through the water, a woman waters through the cut.
The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."
Only one shows an interest in the balls.
CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al Jazeera shows them landing.
How hard you squeeze it.
When you leave yogurt alone it grows a culture!
A large pizza can feed a family.
You can punch information into a computer.
A Southern Zoo has a description of the animal on the cage along with a recipe.
If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.
Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at Christmas.
The shoe has a sole
In one you don't want to jerk the hook, but in the other you don't want to hook the jerk.
You can't make matter.
Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows Yeah, I know it's old....
One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...
The horse knows when I'm grooming him.
Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.
Read all the other threads. I need new content. The old stuff is getting, well old. Here's my contribution. Have you head of the new drinking game? The mike brown special: stand there and take 12 shots. What's the difference between mike brown and a college kid? College kids can handle more shots before they fall down.
One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!
9 polar bears (joke on a mug at work. lame, ik)
Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet
Cigarettes don't scream when they're burning.
One howls on the prairie the other prowls on the hairy.
A mootation
Age
The meth head still has teeth.
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage
On less person is drunk
No one has ever paid to have a green bean on their chest
At least Ebola will finish me off
A sadist is honest about his intentions. That probably wasn't funny, but what do I know?
One has a d where the other doesn't.
One tooth
Terrorists have sympathizers.
One has cubs
A lawyer.
A fruit doesn't need a wheelchair
Peter Parker can swing a web. Clark Kent.
The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit
10 "number 1's" and a not guilty verdict
Independence Day
You can't buy happiness!
You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)
One's against the law, and the other's a sick bird.
The stationmaster minds trains while the schoolmaster trains minds.
Nothing, someone's losing the trailer. -Robin Williams
Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.
One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny
A happy person has a light heart and ET has a heart light
About 3 inches
Eric Clapton would never drop a pound of coke.
One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of.
In the former, man exploits man, in the latter, it's exactly the opposite.
Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.
Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.
The teabag stays in the cup longer.
A tea bag stays in the cup longer!
A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.
It is possible that UFOs exist.
Hazelnuts are normally around $1.50/lb, deernuts are always under a buck.
A mosquito can "fly", but a fly can not "mosquito".
A taxidermist takes only your skin. Mark Twain
How should I know? I just fly the drones.
The American rabbit goes hippity hop and the French rabbit goes lickety split!
About six drinks
Oprahs Black
About four beers
The Bald Eagle is free c:
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
I can't get my whole fist in the Pringles guy's can.
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
100 pounds.
Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.
Because they've removed 6 rows of yellow LED strips...
A top-of-the-lime model.
Because they can spell it.
Urine trouble, mate!
For the crotch.
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon
Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!
About thirty thousand dollars a year.
Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.
SEVEN.
Sue she
No, Woman, no pie.
A major difference.
