Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer?

The podiatrist bucks up your feet.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

What's the difference between golf and Lady Godiva?

One is a hunt on a course.

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

You will see one later and one in a while.

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's baton?

A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns.

What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?

About 10 pounds.

What's the difference between a gun and amnesia?

Oh shoot, I forgot...

What is the difference between a parrot saying "E equals M C squared" and most people saying it?

Nothing.

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

What's the difference between politics and professional wrestling?

In professional wrestling they know what they are doing.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

About 5000 miles.

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Baptist Jokes More Baptist Jokes

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

What do Atilla the Hun and John the Baptist have in common?

Their middle name.

Recognise Jokes More Recognise Jokes

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What do you call a video of pedestrians?

Footage.

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds!

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

How do you get a Canadian to pay you back?

You ask.

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...

Where can Sihks and Muslims buy headwear?

Turban Outfitters.

Taste Jokes More Taste Jokes

What can you add to any food to make it taste better?

The word "free"

What is something that tastes better than it smells?

A tongue

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex?

Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions