Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.
The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'
The candle is a thousand times brighter!
One goes quick and the other goes quack!
A tire!
One Space.
Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.
Belgium waffles crumble in the hands of German.
My couch pulls outs
One trains the mind the other minds the train.
You can't here a vitamin.
A pepperoni pizza can actually feed a family of five.
An elevator has a GF
The former builds weapons, the latter targets
I've never paid $200 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth.
You can unscrew a light bulb!
I'm not coming in *this morning*
A torn ACL
One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.
The Devil has standards.
Restaurants have better servers.
A gooseberry is green!
3 years
You stop milking a cow after 10 years.
You can actually get through the minefield alive.
I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face.
So you're the one!
One goes quick on her beautiful legs the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.
The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.
The way they pronounce "unionized"
A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.
When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.
I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing.
Deadpeople
One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.
In Louisiana, next to the plaque with the animal's name, they've got a good recipe.
Attire.
While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.
You can't milk a cow for 15 years.
One is a pollinator. The other is a pollen-hater.
The bomb vest actually does something when triggered.
One is loud obnoxious and noisy the other is a bird.
The knife has a point.
Blowing Swallowing Gargeling
Attire
You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.
Around 3000 people
One is 6 people singing 100 songs, the other is 100 people singing 6 songs.
Sometimes i get the joke.
In a math book I can buy 57 papayas at $1.99 each and no one will care.
If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.
Incense sticks make scents.
The couch pulls out...
Please let me know... I have a terrible sense of humor!
One does not simply walk into Mordor
One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.
Reindeer are the ones that fly.
God doesn't think he's a pilot.
I can get through one of his skits without laughing
Gangs don't have to pay for friends.
Wendy's is never frozen.
A yoghurt develops a culture After sitting there for 100 years.
One minds the train the other trains the mind.
About two hours.
A pregnant woman is in Labour
With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...
One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.
One of them is organized.
A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.
Vultures attack first, when you are dead.
A baseball is thrown to the air.
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.
You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.
One bawls his wares out on the street...
One's a pro, and one's a con.
I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.
Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'
It's all in the grip.
One's gotta pee.
No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
No one cries when you cut up Pizza.
A handgun only has one trigger.
A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW
There's none, both like clubbing.
One knows the stops the other stops the nose.
Attire...!!
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
The extrovert looks at your feet when talking.
The gun has only one trigger
You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight. Be gentle... it's my cake day
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
About three inches.
Ones in a cup
A chainsaw can be tuned.
One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.
A Fig Newton is Force sensitive.
One mucks around in fountains.
None. They can't climb the ladder.
I need some arrrrrrrrrrrgua!
He took the rhombus
The Hippocampus!
Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.
A row bot
The Darth Mall!
Two buy four.
They both need to be changed after a while for the same reason
Incontinent
She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.
Hey that's mycoat Jackson!
He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.
He used a krypton-currency.
Whittle by whittle.
Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
