F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
About 60 pounds.
The lady in church has hope in her soul.
About 5 seconds.
One is a palate cleanser, the other is a pallet cleanser.
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna (What about the glue) I knew you'd get stuck on that
The way they enter your house.
A tire
Biggie loves it when you call him Big Poppa, while your mom just loves it when you call.
You can only peel (peal) the banana once.
Read the label.
With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once
One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee.
A tiger has the mane part missing!
The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance
There's Noel.
A bird can fly.
There have been sightings of UFOs.
In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.
Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!
A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.
If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.
Ironman is a superhero, Ironwoman is a command.
Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin')...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).
One has culture.
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.
One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.
One is a Bonaparte from the other.
They're both brown except the snowball.
5 years.
About two weeks.
I can get through his opening monologue without laughing
A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays
One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.
E.T. phoned home.
I give them a wall, and they take offense.
Attire.
What would I know, I am just a drone pilot.
A cow can't be milked for over 30 years
A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.
People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.
A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!
One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin
A virus does something.
A funeral is a meeting where you're dead outside as well as in.
You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time
I'd never let a garbanzo bean on my face
A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.
A WWE wrestler will get up after faking an injury.
A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.
20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*
One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.
Just three inches.
A tire.
Toilet paper.
Yogurt's got a culture. (no offence)
A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.
One starts with B and the otber starts with D
One less drunk.
One holds photos The other holds five
A rental car can go anywhere
Eggs get laid at least once.
February 14th.
A bomb vest does something when it's triggered.
One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.
Attire
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture
Cows are real.
Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.
What base you're counting in.
Hello, world" and "Goodbye, cruel world"
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.
The train got windows
The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.
The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.
About 5 drinks
A tyre (attire)
One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".
The guy would survive the first round.
Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.
You can't gbrblblblbl(gargling noise) with a regular stool.
You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.
The lift attendants have jobs.
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant!
A duck is a carbon-based life form while a curling iron is an inanimate appliance
A pencil has a point.
Gnomenclature.
In a casino, you really mean it.
You cry when you cut up an onion.
Good Mourning! *(this pun is baaad and I feel terrible about it)*
A podiatrist bucks up your feet.
Ones used for cunning stunts.
Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.
The spelling.
Because he didn't want toupee.
DANKE!
Stop talking in secret code.
Because she's a medium
A sweet Dill.
Manager: Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.
Peter Parker can shoot webs. Clark Kent.
So he could shoot his mouth off.
He got caught giving alcohol to minors.
He was disturbing the peas.
Neighbor!
Because his knee grows.
Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
A Stick!
I don't have Ferrari in my garage.
