Oscar Pistorious has a better defence and more shots on Target
You can actually get through the minefield alive.
I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face.
So you're the one!
One goes quick on her beautiful legs the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.
The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.
The way they pronounce "unionized"
A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.
When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.
I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing.
Deadpeople
One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
Attire.
While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.
You can't milk a cow for 15 years.
One is loud obnoxious and noisy the other is a bird.
The knife has a point.
Blowing Swallowing Gargeling
Attire
One was fired, the other was terminated
You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.
Around 3000 people
One is 6 people singing 100 songs, the other is 100 people singing 6 songs.
If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.
Incense sticks make scents.
Please let me know... I have a terrible sense of humor!
One does not simply walk into Mordor
One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.
Reindeer are the ones that fly.
I can get through one of his skits without laughing
Wendy's is never frozen.
A yoghurt develops a culture After sitting there for 100 years.
A pregnant woman is in Labour
With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...
You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline Probally heard this but it's worth a shot
One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.
A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.
There's always a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on
Vultures attack first, when you are dead.
A baseball is thrown to the air.
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
I don't know, I just fly the drones.
I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.
One bawls his wares out on the street...
One's a pro, and one's a con.
I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.
Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'
It's all in the grip.
You pull down their gene's and have a look! Credit: I heard this from an older gentlemen today at a senior home.
One's gotta pee.
No one cries when you cut up Pizza.
A handgun only has one trigger.
A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW
There's none, both like clubbing.
One knows the stops the other stops the nose.
Attire...!!
How red their necks are.
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
The extrovert looks at your feet when talking.
You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight. Be gentle... it's my cake day
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
About three inches.
Because oct 31 = dec 25
Ones in a cup
A chainsaw can be tuned.
Eventually the dog sitting in the rain will stop whinging.
One mucks around in fountains.
Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.
The babies in my nutsack are still living.
A cardboard box isn't always empty on the inside.
The singer can have a hit
There are skidmarks before the dog.
There isn't a Ferrari in my garage
Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..
About 3 inches
Well, a normal ambulance is usually a van with a stretcher in the back. A skydiving ambulance A bucket and a shovel.
The bad golfer goes::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!"::Whack::
The extra large pizza can feed a family of four.
A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.
The size of the tip.
A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store
What " "You aren't coming to my house"
You pull down its genes.
Santa stops at 3 Ho's
One is a part-time job the other an inside
A) Usually about 6 months.
The Storm Trooper would have missed Harambe
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window
No, seriously, I want to know.
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Robert never got a famous black guy off all by himself...
Nothing.
You can't milk a cow for 2000 years
Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.
Umm... I don't know... I've got nothing.
Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.
Power tools are found inside the Home Depot.
To hide his nuts!!
Hide their trainers.
Claude
IHOP
Ask about his routine.
He ate it quickly before the others could ask him to share.
Hebrews.
Shorts!
It's a little meteor.
Juice Jenner. I'll be here all week
Nun-chucks.
A counter reformation.
Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)
Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling
She was maid in France!
