Caribou can't fly.
The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.
If you leave Yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.
One composes, the other decomposes...
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
I can't remember.
You can't tuna fish!
A jet engine stops whining after it lands
The extroverted mathematician looks at YOUR shoes when he's speaking to you.
The pencil has a point
E.T learned English and wanted to go home.
Uranium gets to its half-life on time.
Coconuts have hair
Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!
People from Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do
No idea man, im just flying the drone.
About 20 beers!!
One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data.
Pokemon Go always goes down on me
This joke will be back someday
About 8 pints
A bad golfer goes "Damn!" A bad skydiver goes "Damn!"
A kid can joke but a joke cannot kid.
A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3
The bond matures.
A Lorry with Nice breaks doesn't stop until after a mile.
One has a coo, the other has a coup
Life eventually ends.
I haven't given up on my memes yet
About two-hundred dollars." - Johnny Carson
I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.
The Ozone layer doesn't benefit from having holes in them.
Hillary got off Scott-free.
A knife has a point.
When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.
Wright yells, "Objection!' Rong is your typical Chinese man.
I don't want to put a repost in my mouth
Jesus doesn't think he's Bono
No one cries when you chop up the baby.
One is against the law, the other is a sick bird.
In a football match, the best team wins.
One is still in the EU.
Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her
Doesn't matter, they both taste the same.
Superman's powers are all natural.
That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
A circus has a cunning array of stunts
Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.
The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.
I never had a garbanzo bean in my mouth!
About 5 inches.
One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week
You only need one nail to hang the painting.
Ask him/her to pronounce unionized
A gun has one trigger.
Racism has many faces
A woman wants a man who can satisfy all her needs. A man wants all women who can satisfy his needs.
Nothing if you're a gorilla.
You can sleep with a light on.
Attire.
About 3 weeks.
I don't know you tell me.
The people in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabidoooo!
Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.
What difference, at this point, does it make?
When you ask them "2+2 is?":
Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over body
One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.
If you leave a pot of yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture.
One is a super hero and the other is a simple command.
Snowballs
A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".
Because they're both cauldron
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna.
After 200 years, the Yoghurt develops a culture.
Most complex life forms are a tube within a tube, and the internet is more like a series of tubes.
At KFC, you can only get breasts, legs, and thighs.
You can't gargle with the sand.
The knife has a point
About a day.
There's none, both live for the hits.
Bricks get laid.
About a day
Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.
Only one of them made it to the moon.
The circus has a cunning array of stunts.
With Twitter you only get 140 characters.
Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident
I don't know I just fly the drone.
One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard
Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.
The Kindle Fire has a lithium battery.
One bursts into tears. The other bursts out of tears
A sixth sense
I don't have an alcohol collection.
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
Sometimes the homeless get change.
There is no difference. The joke is you just learned math.
The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to "tell us about yourself."
Jokes about Batman's parents can get old.
One's really fun to smash with a sledge-hammer and the other is just a watermelon
One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon
About thirty thousand dollars a year.
A counter reformation.
They both start coming on boys' faces around age 13.
Because they don't do Windows
J-lo Cloths
A bird who steals!
Robber ducks.
Depends...
When you can burp and taste it.
So they can hide in strawberry patches.
An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus
Republicans are against them and Democrats want more for schools.
The Hippocampus!
