Dead embryos don't tell on their mothers...
How you spell them.
You can take a rental car anywhere.
Kim Jong Un has control over his country.
About 12 letters
The Logo.
An Atari 2600 has more game.
Batman can go to the store without robin Edit: glad you'll liked it
A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
Toast is brown on both sides.
D(sun)/dt *facepalm*
At least one group can grow a beard.
A magician has a cunning array of stunts.
Askreddit's subscribers are ok with offensive jokes.
Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!
A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.
I dunno, I just repost them.
The baseball player has all of its limbs.
A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.
About three inches.
3 hours, but it takes 1 day for it to get to Hot
The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.
A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**!
A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money
The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
A chain saw has a dynamic range.
One does their chores while complaining, the other doesn't do them at all.
I don't have a garabonzo bean in my garage because that's where I get pee'd on so there is tarps everywhere.
Landscaping is an outside job.
A boat.
One had to P.
One's a phony buck.
Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.
A fortress has breastworks.
15 years.
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
The bag of rice can feed a family of four.
Nothing, The hits keep coming
None, the two are not a snake
Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered." Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."
1 figure, literally and figuratively.
Prison
A Yoghurt's got culture!
Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.
One's mad cow disease the other's an agricultural problem.
Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'
Two letters.
I don't know Reddit, that's why I'm asking you
You can't hear a protein. (Wait for it)
A dollar
If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.
Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke.
Capitalization.
The candle is a thousand times brighter!
One goes quick and the other goes quack!
Camel can go days without drinking!
Removed
I've never radished off to OP's mom.
200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)
You can't dip a vampire in your tea.
One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".
I've never had a lintel on my chest.
One trains the mind the other minds the train.
The type of gas used.
You can't here a vitamin.
By their names.
This subreddit mods
The brick will eventually get laid.
Santa stops at 3 ho's
One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.
A pepperoni pizza can actually feed a family of five.
One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.
An elevator has a GF
The cream
One has a long smeller the other a loud yeller!
You stop milking a cow after 14 years..
Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour.
About 40 years.
British schoolchildren survive hide-and-seek.
One is a weak one and the other one week!
Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture
A dressmaker tucks up frills.
You can unscrew a light bulb!
I'm not coming in *this morning*
A torn ACL
You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet...
One achieved fame and significance solely because she was married to a charismatic politician. The other was Hilter's wife.
Restaurants have better servers.
One you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt
A gooseberry is green!
3 years
You stop milking a cow after 10 years.
Oscar Pistorious has a better defence and more shots on Target
You can actually get through the minefield alive.
I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face.
So you're the one!
One goes quick on her beautiful legs the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.
The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.
The way they pronounce "unionized"
A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.
Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.
They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online.
Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling
J-lo Cloths
To avoid criticism and comparison.
It was hard to make a living.
On Tinder.
Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.
A row bot
Fur traders.
Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.
Shrugs.
One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different
One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.
