The people in Abu Dhabi? The people in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi Do!
A-tyre
Racism has many faces
Tiger Woods has a better driver
The variables aren't necessarily related.
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system
The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends.
Wine gets better as it gets older
An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants!
Marshmallows
One is a brick and the other is a brick with a screen
Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!
One is against the law and the other is sick bird.
When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.
The car salesman can probably drive!
A fence.
I don't know, I just fly the drone
The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.
One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.
One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.
I dunno, i just click submit
One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..
Where the "eh" is in the sentence. Canadian: "How you doin, eh " Italian: "Eh! How you doin "
A bus driver knows the stops and a cold stops the nose.
Anyone can tuna piano, but nobody can piano a tuna!
You can tuna piano but you cannot piano a tuna.
You don't need a computer to play minesweeper in Saudi Arabia. (I'm not sorry)
For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".
Batman isn't wearing hockey pads.
Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.
Bricks get laid.
I don't know man, I just fly the drones.
Ask them to say the word, "unionized".
You have a shot with a pool table.
One's constantly preparing for lunch.
A tire.
Radioactive elements last longer.
Sometimes I get the punchline
You can't hear a pheromone.
About 3000 miles!
One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.
I told him "It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..." "..and Derek has a moustache"
One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.
You can spill your beer on a fiddle.
Some people actually believe santa exist.
I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face.
At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS" At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"
An etymologist knows.
One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple.
My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising two of my goats.
The blonde works in the dark!
One leg's both the same.
The communist wants equality
Payday vs prayday.
I need to know before my court date on Monday.
One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!
You can make a pet out of a snake!
This isn't a good joke.
Try picking them up!
Attire.
On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.
H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.
The hunter has to wait until it's in season!
I don't have a Camaro....
Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.
Bing sings and Walt Disney.
The posters
Yogurt could develop a culture after 200 years
One of them doesn't.
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
Sixty-nine
It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver
The government actually wanted to stop Polio.
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
An attic door can shut up. im going to hell
About 60 pounds.
Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.
A tire
Biggie loves it when you call him Big Poppa, while your mom just loves it when you call.
You can only peel (peal) the banana once.
Read the label.
The lady in church has hope in her soul.
About 5 seconds.
Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!
With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once
One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee.
A tiger has the mane part missing!
The egg gets laid!
One is a palate cleanser, the other is a pallet cleanser.
The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance
There's Noel.
A bird can fly.
There have been sightings of UFOs.
In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.
Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!
One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.
One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different
Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.
Fur traders.
Canadians became *penniless*
Greh.
Artificial celery
They're Meteor!
Because the poor didn't have any!
The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from.
Deja Moo!
The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day
Steak
She was maid in France!
A major difference.
