The nun has hope in her soul!
Bout tree fiddy.
Nothing, someone's losing the trailer. -Robin Williams
An egg gets laid before it cracks.
Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono.
One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different
One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny
A happy person has a light heart and ET has a heart light
About 3 inches
Eric Clapton would never drop a pound of coke.
One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of.
Dead animals have skid marks AROUND them
Yoghurt has a culture.
One has a job.
A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.
Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.
A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.
Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.
It all depends on how you look at it
The teabag stays in the cup longer.
A tea bag stays in the cup longer!
A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.
It is possible that UFOs exist.
The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!
Hazelnuts are normally around $1.50/lb, deernuts are always under a buck.
A mosquito can "fly", but a fly can not "mosquito".
Twitter only allows 160 characters
A taxidermist takes only your skin. Mark Twain
How should I know? I just fly the drones.
The American rabbit goes hippity hop and the French rabbit goes lickety split!
Mike Jones is Still Tippin'.
About six drinks
Oprahs Black
About four beers
The Bald Eagle is free c:
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Q: What's the difference between zombies? A: Zombies make honey, and zombies don't.
An electron
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
One's by Dire Straits, the other's by dryer states.
Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.
I don't know." "So you're the one!"
One's an algorithm, and the other's an Al Gore-ism!
Batman can go in a convenience store without Robbin.
Pronounce this word: unionized
One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.
Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.
God knows he's not a surgeon.
One rocks the mic, while the other mocks the reich.
Introverted Engineer looks at His shoes when he's talking to you. Extroverted Engineer looks at Your shoes when he's talking to you.
A brick gets laid!
It depends on where I draw the line.
A rock guitarist plays 10 chords for 50,000 people, and a jazz guitarist plays 50,000 chords for 10 people.
About 3 inches.
An extroverted scientist will stare at YOUR feet.
Psychopaths are fun at parties.
No difference - when you gotta go, you gotta go!
The extrovert looks at the other person's shoes.
When you sniff paint, you get high
The position of the dirtbag
The blonde has a higher sperm count.
One porks women the other un-porks them.
To pick is to make a selection... And choose are what Cubans wear on their feet.
A teacup is what the British drink out of and a pea cup is what the Mexicans drive.
It's no bad luck to walk under a truck.
The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from.
Jesus may actually return some day.
The dead cat has skid marks around it.
The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!
One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)
Nothing.
Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
My girlfriend knows about my wife.
Humor is a shift of wit...
When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, "Merci!".
Twitter only allows 140 characters.
No one cries when you cut up an accordion
Government bonds mature over time and earn money
Snickers satisfies.
Santa stops after three ho's.
The posters.
One is hoplite, and the other a light hops.
Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud.. ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
The rooster clucks defiance.
Fancy food is delicious, but military food is deliciousir!
This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.
Deer nuts are under a buck.
Some adults like lawyers.
Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and deer nuts are just under a buck.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
One of his legs is the same.
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
About 7 beers.
Looking for a lost golf ball is a hunt on a course.
The spelling Teehee
Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.
The blonde doesn't sit still when she is on eggs.
The Hippocampus!
Because everyone there is ahtistic.
Because if you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer.
Because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.
Because they all had a tare.
Collar ID
Everyone who bought his tickets wanted their nickelback
Because it Lubri-Can't Even!
Because they devour wood.
Seeder
9 mouths
9 months.
Because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.
Hide and go sleep.
Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)
