One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail.
A gambler might lose.
I've never paid $200 to have a kidney bean in my mouth.
Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck
The color. Yes, this is an anti-joke. Downvote please.
If you find the right woman, you're complete.
I don't know, I just click "submit"
You only have to punch the information into a computer once.
Their parents.
A cello burns longer.
Everyone WANTS to be Irish on st Patrick's day.
When you run over a dog you don't have to go back and get the GoPro.
The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.
LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.
Rick Grimes has two I's....
Paul Walker only crashed once.
A Golden Retriever can sing better.
One of them is a swift tailor.
Eric Clapton would never let an 8-ball fall out the window!
They aren'tt tolerated on thsi subredit
Tiger Woods has a better driver.
Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money
A triathlete doesn't go both ways.
Are you serious? I could give you a mouthful.
A rental car can drive anywhere.
A $100 bill makes change
You can't top a good pizza joke.
The first one saves people from criminals, while the latter saves criminals from the people.
It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim
A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.
The bricks will get laid.
News of the elections is getting old.
The homeless man has $7 to his name.
Even if it is cold it's still good.
A battery has a positive side.
21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH 1st floor goes: AHHHHHHHHHH
Snowballs
About eighty years
When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.
It can neither fly
Nothing, they both have 1 3
Logic
How much their husbands make
My YouTube experience lasts longer than 10 seconds.
The crew.
With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out.
A couple of weeks
Better reflexes.
45
The magician's wand is used for cunning stunts
You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.
The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.
Culture
In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.
Dead people had lives.
St. Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.
In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.
How high you tie it on a tree.
If you leave yoghurt alone for 2000 years it'll develop a culture.
One less drunk.
69 cents.
What POC means.
A toddler can count past two...
I dunno I just fly the drone.....
One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.
There is none. All of us hope that the next version will be more stable.
One of them is purple
A building in Dubai.
About 568 horses.
You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich.
Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
You can tuna piano, but you cant piano tuna!
The time God took to cook us
One of it's legs is a little smaller.
At Olive Garden the servers actually work.
Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck
One is a group of cunning stunts.
You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.
I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
There aren't many paedos in the camp.
One brightly shines...
One of them makes sense!
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna
A few degrees.
The golfer goes " Damn!" The skydiver goes "Damn! "
I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box.
Bricks can get laid.
If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again
One makes you: The other is a synthetic drug.
When you start to make deposits at the sperm bank, you loose interest
You can't put a plane through linearly independent vectors
One person.
A calendar has a future...
A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
You stop milking a cow after 150 years.
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
An egg gets laid.
I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!
A quarter pounder with cheese.
I don't have Ferrari in my garage.
Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath
He wanted to work overtime.
Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.
SEVEN.
The taste.
Cus they have to taste it twice!
Hide and Speak!
They know there ain't no way to hide those lion eyes.
You'd look pretty funny riding a cow...but you'd look much worst milking a bike
Kid: At the Joke shop.
The team's kipper!
Because the captain stood on the deck.
DU-WHY!
They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it
