One of it's legs is a little smaller.
At Olive Garden the servers actually work.
Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck
One is a group of cunning stunts.
You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.
I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
There aren't many paedos in the camp.
One brightly shines...
One of them makes sense!
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna
A few degrees.
The golfer goes " Damn!" The skydiver goes "Damn! "
I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box.
If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again
One makes you: The other is a synthetic drug.
When you start to make deposits at the sperm bank, you loose interest
You can't put a plane through linearly independent vectors
One person.
A calendar has a future...
A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
You stop milking a cow after 150 years.
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
An egg gets laid.
One's a grand car and the other's a grand car
You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond
Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me.
Ones a pant in the country the others a...
If you hit it its fog, if you don't it's mist.
For an European 500 Miles is a long distance, for an American 500 years are a long History
Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.
Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!
A notebook has papers.
A teabag stays in the cup longer...
One of them is actually wanted!
One yanks for the roots, the other roots for the Yanks.
An extroverted physicist looks at shoes when they're talking to you.
Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.
You can say sorry at a funeral.
The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.
Ice cream fits in a tub.
My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string
One of them you want to see a lot less of.
A tea bag stays longer in a cup.
Disney movies can still touch children.
You can't milk a cow for 2,000 years.
A golfer goes "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn".
Because he wanted to make a difference. My first original, time for open mic!
People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.
Fish are cool
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon.
One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.
Most people like the idea of pizza better.
Fish muck about in fountains
One builds weapons and the other build targets.
You can tuna piano but you can't tuna fish.
One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later.
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
Eventually, Marty Mcfly stopped going back to 1985.
They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.
He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.
One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.
J
2-3 weeks tops.
The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample.
A knife has a point.
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
I don't have Ferrari in my garage.
A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)
About 1400 dollars
Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Reddit doesn't constantly have reposts from the other site.
The Amazon River actually has sails.
3
A Specialist knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing. A Generalist knows less and less about more and more until he knows absolutely nothing about everything.
That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community.
Hell bad people
Greece doesn't have default settings!
A Dollar
Anyone can mash potatoes!
An electron
Deep ends really.
The placement of the dirt bag.
You can unscrew the light bulb. - Steve Martin, "My Blue Heaven"
Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"
Batman can go to a store without robin.
Two letters.
The lumberjack has a job.
On some of them you actually have a voat
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
If you leave the yogurt for 100 years alone, it develops a culture.
North Koreans have no Seoul. Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.
If left for 400 years, the yoghurt will develop a culture.
Ask them what OP stands for.
I can sleep with a light on.
Newer magazines
Well, one things for sure
J-lo Cloths
Because they don't do Windows
Manager: Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.
ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*
He snooker in!
His sentences start with "A woman once told me.."
She didn't suit his taste!
Is this some sort of yolk
They're all girls on fire.
A heroine addict.
Student: A teacher!
A one night stand with Jesus
Jean-Luc Picardio
The Captains log
They have the same middle name!
A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store
