Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dylexsic, insomiac and a agnostic?

Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What do you call a fruit that stays up very late to study for tests?

A cramberry.

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did one socket say to the other?

Stay grounded.

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one?

CuNO3!

What did King Midas say to the centaur?

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

He was undercover *!*

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there.

How can we keep our school Clean?

Student: By Staying at home.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

What do Pimps and Santa have in common?

They stay with 3 ho's

What do you call a witch that stays out all night?

A fresh air freak.

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January?

He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey.

What do you call a stay-at-home parent?

Unemployed.

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'furniture.

What's Irish and stays out on your deck?

Paddy O'furniture

How did Jesus stay in such good shape?

Cross fit.

Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep?

Their cicadan rhythm is off

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel.

What's the difference between England and an egg cup?

An egg can stay in the cup longer

What did the Chinese fisherman say to his at-risk son?

Stay on the junk, and you'll go far.

How does Optimus Prime stay young looking?

Autobotulism

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

What's the deal with the Z Fighters?

They aren't fighting to stay awake!

Why can't anyone stay angry long with an actress?

Because she always makes up.

What kind of people should you stay away from?

Trees. They're quite shady.

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?

Stegosaur-rust!

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?

Eggsercise particularly hareobics!

How did you manage to stay single for so long?

Single Handedly

Where do black people stay when they visit Alaska?

A nigloo

How do you stay warm in a cold room?

You go to the corner cause it's always 90 degrees.

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape?

He does lots of bare-obics.

Why was the man sent to prison after staying up all night?

Because he was resisting a rest.

How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!

How are you able to stay in bed all morning without getting up to pee?

He replied......It's hard

What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

Why do older polygons make sure their sides all stay an equal length?

It keeps you regular.

What is Matthew McConaughey' least favorite part of interstellar?

The girls get older, but he stays the same age" -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)

What do you call a ghost that stays out all night?

Afresh air freak.

How can we keep the school clean Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?

Student: "By staying home"

Why didn't Princess Diana have very many friends on Xbox Live?

All she does is stay on the dashboard.

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

What goes all around the world but stays in one corner the entire time?

Stamps!

What's the longest you've stayed in bed?

I usually sleep ON the bed. #DadJoke

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation?

At the Howliday Inn!

How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm?

They always have several lairs.

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

Why is the bicycle unable to stay up?

Because it is two-tired!!!!

How do you manage to stay in shape?

Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

How do hens stay fit?

They always egg-cercise!

You might also enjoy:

School Jokes More School Jokes

What are you going to be when you get out of school?

An old man!

What do you mean the school must be haunted?

Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What do you call Oprah on drugs?

Doprah

What drug does the lord use to get work done?

God speed.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why don't you ever wear your hair down?

Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So Me: I don't want to encourage that.

What do you call a dog wearing headphones?

Ear bud

Spy Jokes More Spy Jokes

Where do Russian spies live?

In a Snow Den.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

High Number Jokes More High Number Jokes

What's the highest number in the world?

420

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Dinner

What did fish A say to fish B?

Wasabi?

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What did a tree say to another tree?

Nothing, trees can't talk!

Whats common between the world trade centres and genders?

There were once two but now they're too offensive to talk about.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why was Bob Marley fired from being a tennis announcer?

Because he kept calling "One Love"

Who's there! Bossy! Bossy who?

Bossy just fired me!