Stay Jokes

What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'furniture.

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What's Irish and stays out on your deck?

Paddy O'furniture

How did Jesus stay in such good shape?

Cross fit.

Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep?

Their cicadan rhythm is off

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel.

What's the difference between England and an egg cup?

An egg can stay in the cup longer

How does Optimus Prime stay young looking?

Autobotulism

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

What's the deal with the Z Fighters?

They aren't fighting to stay awake!

Why can't anyone stay angry long with an actress?

Because she always makes up.

What kind of people should you stay away from?

Trees. They're quite shady.

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What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?

Stegosaur-rust!

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?

Eggsercise particularly hareobics!

How do you stay warm in a cold room?

You go to the corner cause it's always 90 degrees.

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape?

He does lots of bare-obics.

Why was the man sent to prison after staying up all night?

Because he was resisting a rest.

How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!

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What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

Why do older polygons make sure their sides all stay an equal length?

It keeps you regular.

What do you call a ghost that stays out all night?

Afresh air freak.

How can we keep the school clean Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?

Student: "By staying home"

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

What goes all around the world but stays in one corner the entire time?

Stamps!

What's the longest you've stayed in bed?

I usually sleep ON the bed. #DadJoke

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation?

At the Howliday Inn!

How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm?

They always have several lairs.

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

Why is the bicycle unable to stay up?

Because it is two-tired!!!!

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

How do hens stay fit?

They always egg-cercise!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch?

Don't worry, they will tell you.

How do you know statisticians are always serious?

They mean what they say.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

School Shooter Jokes More School Shooter Jokes

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

Pupil: I get up early!

What did the mime say to the wall?

Tough getting by these days.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

What's the difference between fight club and veganism?

You don't talk about fight club.

Silk Jokes More Silk Jokes

Whatever happened to silk underwear?

Fell through the cracks.

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

Why do hippies wear corduroy?

It's groovy!

Why do hippies like corduroy?

Because the material is so groovy.

Addict Jokes More Addict Jokes

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

What do you call a drug-addicted duck?

A quackhead.