Nothing. She's fine.
He just wants her to be down to Mars
Well, there is a vast difference.
As long as she is unmarried.
Woman
Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!
He snooker in!
Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.
When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it
Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!" Man: "I was talking to the dog!"
No woman wears the same attire every year.
Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.
Marry her.
Because they'll always let friends access their private members. Ba dum tiss.
A divorce, then she'll only have half of everything.
Because everyone knows they give good *head*.
His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."
Because we're not all sandwiches
Bernadette!
McLady.
Give her the D.
Two women playing pool.
Woman: "When I asked him what he was doing out there, he said 'I was trying to get a Pikachu'".
With a DustBuster.
They give their women awesome Dinar.
Hangovers go away!
A flirtation device.
Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare
You skip across the flat ones.
He didn't want someone telling him what to do
A Ronda Rousey fight.
You see a woman learn her place.
Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window
The other woman replies, "It has its perks."
She'll tell you within five minutes.
At the other end of the telescope.
A 20 dollar bill
Women working at 900 numbers.
The woman in church has hope in her soul.
Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.
A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack.
Ilene.
Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.
If you let the dog in, it will shut up.
Addadictomy.
Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.
I know how to turn a PC on.
OC It was her sole comfort.
They never let you finish first. (#s)
To prevent them from whistling.
The Auntie Christ.
The woman asks her husband. "Keep sending them!"
Because those men have got Stable jobs.
Their knees. (Not sure if this one translates well to English)
Four abreast!
Do you see me in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies No. You don't.
An argument with a woman! And I'm in one right now.
A computer accepts a 3.5 inch floppy
Penacilin
I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work.
Never tell anyone what are you so mad about
There's a clock on the stove.
Because they rappel men and women.
Ovarie-z
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
Mrs Hawking
100$ bill
If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years.
Annette
When you're a billionaire (Credit to Kevin Hart)
The dishes if she knows whats good for her.
They're always right.
Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.
They don't have wives
Nothing, you've already told her twice.
The baby and the dad.
An empty toilet paper roll.
Prison
Because women are always right.
Premature ejactulation.
Because she was Klaustrophobic!
They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Sandy
Annette.
Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.
Almond Joy.
Women!
5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.
Because they change theirs more often
No, Woman, no pie.
Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her.
They could get chapped lips!
Neither one will accept a 3 and a half inch floppy
A positive side....
A woman on a tumble dryer! (Bet you thought I was gonna say 'a towel', didn't you, silly redditors)
They both make you wait 2 hours for a 30 second ride!
Because he came second.
They both got their fur low.
Because you have to court her before you pound her.
She couldn't raise enough dough.
I think we're in sink.
Yes, it does." she replies.
ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*
What do you mean you only brought two ants!
A dead Jedi" I replied
I replied,"That's what you're supposed to do in soccer, right Kick balls "
Breaking Bad
Don't Break the Ice
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!
Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesnt make it a leg.
Because he was on duty.
God doesn't think he's a police officer.
Azkabarn
He was charged with battery!
The French army at the beginning of a war!
Does Wagner begin with a "V"
