My career is in Jeopardy!
They weren't hiring.
Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake.
Because it was soda pressing.
About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.
You do the math
She had harp failure.
He lost interest
Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.
In the "Kelp Wanted" section of the want-ads.
The mythbusters and ghostbusters.
He isn't very App-y
Because he was out standing in his field.
She hated being microbe-managed.
Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now
Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"
Only one but 200 applied for the job.
Be born in China.
I want that job. I could really screw with some people.
He ate his tacho.
I asked him. He said, "Tell her about my job."
We don't know, it's Victoria's secret.
He ran out of patients.
He didn't *urn* his degree.
Neither one has Jobs.
He never delivered.
Friend: "Nothing" Me: "But I thought he got the job! " Friend: "Yes he did."
It wasn't her job to educate people.
I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.
Looking for Jobs.
He couldn't see himself doing the work
Handy Manny took his job.
He was always drinking on the job
Because she couldn't control her pupils.
Nobody in the government does their job.
Because he showed up baked.
He doesn't have a job.
"Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"
Because he went crackers.
With relish.
Cuz Wu Tang Clan got nuttin' to shuck with.
Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent "Rax on, Rax off"
It's because they heard there was no jobs there.
It was the Bain of his existence.
Me: Because being broke and homeless didn't really call out to me.
Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.
His job was soda-pressing
He didn't have any debtperception.
She swallowed
Me: After lunch, next question.
A four term US senator.
Because he was outstanding in his field
So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
As they don't get arrested for doing their job as they do in America!
Because she was drinking on the job.
Me: Job. Interviewer: I mean what do you want from this job Me: Salary
It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.
He was Koalified
Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels
They were worried about his checkered past
Because she had one heck of an ex-goose
Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."
Deleted
He tried fighting fire with fire.
He was always standing up on the job!
You get your job and your wife back.
You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.
None, we've decided to let a man do the job.
Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.
Because he didn't get arrays.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Because she didn't want six inches of snow all year long.
Turkey.
They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Because they croak a lot!
A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.
Tigga please!" Sorry, I heard it years ago. I don't remember where or when but I've just been saying alot lately.
Ahola.
Farsi.
Because he's Blind Married
Because he was married.
He stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog.
Student: "By staying home"
The government will watch you for the next 15+ years
The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.
He was feeling a little crummy.
Bakin'!
