Head Jokes

Why did the man lost in the woods catch fire?

He was heading west.

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What has two heads and six legs?

Nirvana

Who's there! Anne! Anne who?

Anne apple just fell on my head!

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head?

Ray!

What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it?

A $20 bill

What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head?

Facial Hare

How are a roof and quantum physics the same?

They both go over your head.

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A horse and rider.

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?

A tiger moth!

Why are giraffes' necks so long?

Because their heads are so far from their bodies.

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in One Direction and pointed in the other.

What was the executioner's favorite shampoo?

Head and shoulders.

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head?

The deceased!

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?

Washed a Ton State. I woke up with that joke in my head this morning. My brain is weird. Had to share it with someone.

Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

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What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

Where was Solomon's temple located?

On the side of his head.

What do you call man with.. What do you call man with a rucksack on his back and salt and pepper on his head?

A seasoned traveller.

Who do you think the scariest POTUS was?

I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads.

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug

Why didn't Drake head on down to South Park?

He would never leave his woes behind.

How do you greet a three-headed monster?

Hi, hi, hi.

Why is Vanilla Ice scratching his head?

Lice. Lice, maybe.

Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat?

To keep her head warm.

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

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What happens when ducks fly upside down??

They quack up

What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.

Radical Muslim Jokes More Radical Muslim Jokes

Lion Jokes More Lion Jokes

Why don't the zebra and the lion like to play cards in the prairie?

CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY CHEETAHS!!!

What do you call the king of the jungle in the land down under?

Australian. Yes I know lions aren't jungle animals, but as per common nomenclature etc etc yadda yadda raspberry

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?

He is so misunderstood.

Why does a dentist seem moody?

Because he always looks down in the mouth.

Bounty Jokes More Bounty Jokes

What was so special about Bounty's new line of paper towels?

Nothing they were tearable.

Hollow Jokes More Hollow Jokes

Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Why do blondes wear their hair up?

To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair?

Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player?

Ask them if they play league.

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