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4 Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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How many feet are in a yard?

4 if you have a dog.

Why does no one like the number 4?

It's too square.

How does a blonde count a thousand sheep?

She counts the legs, and divides by 4.

Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music?

Mount Rushmore

How did 3 know 4 was a Ballerina?

He had a 2-2.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?

Cuatro cinco

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

Quatro cinco

Why is does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it'd be called a chicken sedan. (better if saying it out loud because of the spelling of coop/coupe) -

What do you call a chicken coop with 4 doors?

A chicken sedan.

Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?

If it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan

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What has 4 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

What do you call 4 lepers in a jacuzzi?

Stew

What rock group has 4 members that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge Yoda was.

Why can't the main character of Fallout 4 get a girlfriend?

Because they're too young for him

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

How to 4-dimensional aliens get around?

In Tralfamadoloreans.

How did the group of 4 dogs win the golf tournament?

They combined for 16 paws.

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What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup?

I, 4-1, know we won't win.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

How many super sayen do you need to change a bulb?

Only one, but it take 4 episodes and Krilin died at the end.

How many gears does a French Tank have?

5. 4 reverse and 1 forward for parades.

How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair?

You flip it upside down.

What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

Mississippi.

Why do chicken coups have two doors?

Because if they had 4 doors they'd be a chicken sedan.

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 4 dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

How Many Dragonball Z Characters Does it Take to Screw in a Light-bulb?

Just one, but it will take 4 episodes.

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What do you call it when 4 giraffes collide?

A giraffic jam!

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

What has 3 heads, 2 legs, and 4 arms?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Why do chicken coops have only 2 doors?

If they had 4, it would be a chicken sedan!

What are the 4 dirtiest streets in Philadelphia?

Turner, Front, Mascher, Cherry

Why was 2 afraid of 4?

Because 4 8 16!

Why doesnt Nickelback play football?

Because even if they had 4 players they still couldnt throw a ball.

What is 168?

Dinner for 4.

What do you find with 4 Catholics?

A fifth.

Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors they would be called chicken sedans!

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at The Alamo?

They only had 4 cars.

What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?

4 the home team

What's the difference between an Arts student and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of 4

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pit bull.

What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of 4.

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water?

You can afford four fjord forders' fords.

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?

Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?

Not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7

What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet?

The finish line of the Boston Marathon.

How mani Iowa citizens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

4 no 5 no 6 no its really 4 - not sure, better flip a coin to get the right number

What do you call someone whose filed bankruptcy 4 times and divorced twice?

A GOP Presidential candidate.

What rock group has 4 men that do not sing?

Mt. Rushmore

How many legs does the dog have?

4 y.o: Five Me: There's something wrong with your counting. 4: There's something wrong with the dog.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

What happens if I microwave 5 Barbies?

Me: That's an oddly specific question. 4: I already know what happens if I do it with 4

How do you do it w/ 4 kids?

Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.

What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears?

The Tchernobyl cowboy.

What do you want for your birthday?

Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.

What was that?

4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.

What has 4 legs and isn't alive?

It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this! No Jimmy, it's your dog...

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

What has 4 legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

How was school?

4: Trenton said his dad likes to go outside and fight lions - laughs - oh honey - nobody would name their kid Trenton

Why do robbers steal money?

Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don't they just steal the stuff She's a criminal mastermind.

What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music?

Mount Rushmore. Or Nickelback. I'm so sorry.

What do you call 4 bullfighters in quicksand?

Quattro cinco

What's 2 and 2?

Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good that's perfect!

How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires?

Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength.

Why aren't Pokemon very good dancers?

They can only learn 4 moves.

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

What's the difference between a 3 figure and a 4-figure suit?

1 figure, literally and figuratively.

What has 3 tails 4 trunks and 6 feet?

An elephant with spare parts!el

Why are there 2 doors on a chicken coupe?

Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan

Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken Sedan.

How many ducks would there be if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks two ducks between two ducks and two ducks behind two ducks?

4 ducks-because they are in a row.

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4.

When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides?

When it is intercepted by a plane.

What do you get when you turn 4 blondes upside down?

4 brunettes

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter

Who are you supposed to be?

4: A ninja.

How do you fit 4 girls on a bar stool?

Flip it over

Why do chicken coups only have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans.

How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard?

4 or 5.

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

What is an ark?

2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

What color is this?

4: McDonalds The end

What is twitter?

3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

Who else does this?

1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money

Why was 4 afraid of 5?

Because 5 was a Registered Six Offender. Edit: a word.

Why was number 4 blushing?

She saw 2 and 3 halving six

What do you call 4 lepers in a hot tub?

Soup

What is the difference between a girl from London and a Kitkat?

You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.

Which pig is she?

Me: What do you mean 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks

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Elizabeth Jokes More Elizabeth Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between Paul Walker and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods has a better driver.

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.

Firetruck Jokes More Firetruck Jokes

What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"?

FIRETRUCK.

What word starts with F and ends with UCK?

Firetruck

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why is the bicycle unable to stay up?

Because it is two-tired!!!!

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What lives in gum trees?

Stick insects!

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How many light bulbs does it take to change a man?

Just one, if you put it in the right place.

What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?

Men, get in the boat!

Red Jokes More Red Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

What's black, blue, and red all over?

The Grudge at a rave.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods