Love Jokes

What do farts and children have in common?

You love your own, but hate everyone else's.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why did the lonely man work on his days off?

X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company.

What do you love most my natural beauty or my body?

Wife: Your sense of humor.

Why couldn't Princess Leia find love?

She was looking in Alderaan places.

What did the dyslexic kid say to his parents at Christmas?

I love Satan

Why could Luke and Leia never be together?

They went looking for love in Alderaan places.

Why are pirates never scared of a storm?

Because they love torrents.

What type of music do astronauts love?

Neptunes!

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What is Asia's favourite sitcom?

Everybody loves Ramen.

How do we know burgers love young people?

They're pro-teen!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

How do you get herpes of the eye ball?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Why is DJ Khaled so good at music?

He loves major keys.

Who's there! Candace! Candace who?

Candace with love!

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

What flower loves to be in the sun?

Sunflower.

What did Casper say to his girlfriend?

I love you, boo!!

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

What famous painting do cows love to look at?

The Moona Lisa!

Why does everyone love cats?

They're purr-fect!

What did you hear about the tree who was in love?

He pined everyday.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What do you call an affectionate rabbit?

A tender loving hare.

Why do demons love apostrophes?

They show possession.

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

What is the name of the martial arts discipline that the anime girl that you are in love with practices?

Wai fu.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways... Five.

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

What tattoo should I get?

TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please.

How do you know if someone truly loves fast food?

It has a special place in their hearts

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Because he's Indie!

Why did you lead me on a five-state chase?

Driver: I love to travel.

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

Why do tennis players never get married?

Because Love means nothing to them.

What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone?

You're dead to me

What type of monster really loves dance music?

The boogieman.

Why do orphans play tennis?

It's the only way they can get love.

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

You might also enjoy:

Cousin Jokes More Cousin Jokes

How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

Why did Einstein marry his cousin?

It's all relative.

Miso Jokes More Miso Jokes

Why does Jesus like Japanese food?

Because he loves miso

What the Japanese version of mission impossible?

Miso impossible

Spit Jokes More Spit Jokes

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What do your mom and a camel have in common?

They both spit.

True Love Jokes More True Love Jokes

What do ghosts call their true love?

Their ghoul-friend

What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral?

You might think it's II, but his true love be the C.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why are football players never asked for dinner?

Because they're always dribbling!

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus get his beach bod for the summer?

Cross fit

What strengths do you bring to the job?

Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What do Japanese people do when they have erections?

Vote!

Why does Jesus like Japanese food?

Because he loves miso

Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween?

A "booquet" of flower.

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.